One Thing to Improve

Today's prompt asks  us to come up with one thing that you could improve on...and maybe start today!

One thing? That is so hard to narrow down.  I think that there are a lot of things that I could improve on.

I could be a better advocate.  I could be dedicating more hours each day to the task and working harder to see more successes.

I could put even more hours into my website and blog.  I would keep things even more updated and spectacular than they are now.  Links would be fresh and new. Articles would be engaging and I would catch the attention of more advertisers allowing me the financial resources to fully devote myself to these first two shortfalls.

More realistically the biggest thing I that I think I need to improve on is my son's diabetes care.  I find it terribly difficult to balance between being on his case all of the time, monitoring, logging, trending, and tweaking versus allowing him the freedom to do his own thing and make his own mistakes.

I am trying to let him fall on his own more often.  I try to look at readings once a week and then calmly discuss them. I try not to completely freak when readings are not there that should be.  I make him count his own carbs most days and discuss his results compared to mine.

I still don't worry about him testing at night. That remains my job.  I still look for the best technology for him. His only interest in technology is getting an iPhone or the latest game for his Xbox--although he does appreciate a good meter!

When he makes mistakes, I take them to heart. I get upset because I feel that I have failed more than him.  I need to let that go.  Its hard. Its hard to watch our children stumble at any time. Perhaps we could have taught them better. Perhaps....

I have to learn to let go and then accept what happens and allow both of us to learn from it. It will come...one day.



One Great Thing

What is the one thing that I do really well when it comes to diabetes? I think it has to be my ability to be a Continuous Glucose Monitoring Mom during the night. We do not have a CGM.  We do not have a My Sentry or a D.A.D.  We simply have a sleep deprived Mom and some serious guardian angels who like to kick her butt.

For years I would set an alarm clock for 3am.  I would then wake at 2am and find my son was running a little high. I would correct and sleep for another two hours. 

I would go out at night, come home and test my son only to have him sit up in bed in a zombie like state with a blood glucose reading that barely registered on his meter. Somehow I just knew to test before I did anything else.

I can go to sleep, be sound a sleep and something will wake me. I will need to use the washroom. I will have a dream of my phone ringing. I will be sound asleep, dying to stay right where I am and "something" will make me get myself out of bed.  I will stumble to my son's room and be instantly alert when I realized that his blood glucose is low...and dropping.

I am sure that a CGM would say that I was fallable and it could do better, but I have heard that it makes mistakes too. So far, knock on wood, I have never slept through a low that caused a seizure.  My son has woken up every morning. He will ocassionally wake to his highs and has woken to one low in over 12 years.  Thankfully the Momma Monitor has only slept through the night a hand full of times. I may not get the readings right before bed. I may not bolus properly all of the time or gage the influence of activity exactly right but so far I have been able to protect my son at night, protect his body, and keep his A1c down to an acceptable range. I think that counts as "one great thing". 

Diabetes BFFs

I can't believe it but once again I am going to take part in Diabetes Blog Week.  After a month of blogging, this week should be a piece of cake but doesn't this week also happen to fall on the same week that my oldest son graduates from high school? Karen, what are you doing to me? Despite that fact, I am going to do my very best to keep up and join in because I truly LOVE Diabetes Blog Week!!

Day one's challenge is to share our favorite, and hopefully new to others, bloggers.  That is a tough one! I admittedly do not constantly follow a lot of people. I watch for their posts to show up on twitter and when they catch my eye I read. 

Having had diabetes as an unwanted house guest for over 12 years, dealing with a toddler, a preteen and now a teen with diabetes, my favorite blogs come from adults. I want to hear from those who have been there and somehow lived through it. 

I still enjoy the comic relief and raw prose of people like Reyna at Beta Buddies.  I completely admire the courage of Meri at Our Diabetic Life. Blogs such as The Corner Booth have given me a huge insight to the world in which my son lives.  I will be sad to no longer see Mike's updates there but look forward to reading more from him in his new role with Diabetes Mine. 

Another young adult that I enjoy following is Lauren from The LD.  Her struggles and her youth is both refreshing and informative. I often want to reach out, give her a hug and take over her care for a bit to give her a break. She continues to amaze me.

There are so many great blogs out there. These are just a few of my favorites and I look forward to finding many more as others share during the first day of "Diabetes Blog Week"!

Thank you to the Mothers!

Happy Mothers Day to all of the amazing Mothers out there! Happy Mothers Day to all of the other Momma Bears who work so hard to protect their children.  Happy Mothers Day to my Mom.

I have been blessed to have been surrounded by many amazing mothers throughout my lifetime.  Before I was born, a woman chose to be a mother to my mom.  She took in an orphaned, rebellious young teen and made her her daughter. She extended her family to include my mother and therefore gave me the most amazing family of grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins that I could have asked for.  We have laughed, grumbled, cried and loved together. They have helped to shape the woman that I have become and I am so blessed to call them family.

I was lucky to have two grandmothers.  This other woman had a son who was to be my father. She was strong and beautiful.  She was loving and taught me so many things.  These two women were opposite in so many ways but similar in others.  They both loved me.  They both taught me about love, commitment to family and showed me the strength of a mother's love.

Then there is my mom...she is a complex woman.  She is caring and strong with a river of compassion and love that runs deeply through everything she does and all that she is.  She was not physically there when my sons were born.  She was not tin the same province when my youngest son was diagnosed with diabetes but she was there with support through every event in my life. She didn't know any more about diabetes than I did when my son was diagnosed but she was willing to learn.  When my youngest wanted to stay with her for a week, she was prepared to do all it took to keep him as safe as he was when he was with me.  She learned about testing, carb counts, weighing food, boluses and set her alarm to test him through the night. My son got to experience life as a normal child would-- spending a week away with his grandparents. It was no big deal...but it was a huge deal for me.

I am blessed that my mom is still here. She will be joining us as we celebrate my oldest son's graduation from high school next week. She is still there when times are good or frustrating and remains my biggest cheering section for all things diabetes and more.  She pushes me to be my best and helps me to get there. She believes in me like no one else...but I guess that's what mothers do.

Being a mother is a challenge.  Finding the balance between guiding, pushing, and standing back is never easy.  A mother's love is always there no matter what.  As many have said, never come between a Momma Bear and her cub.  I know I have lived that motto with my own children and so have many others.

I have been truly blessed to have been surrounded by so many amazing mothers.  Last year I told you of just a few, the amazing Mothers of children with diabetes who have changed my world, inspired, encouraged me, and been there for me through diabetes issues and more. 

There is the mother who has become my very best friend, standing beside me, listening to me--not always understanding but always there to support me.  

My "other" mother who took me into her family, loved me and made me one of her own.  She has been there to help through the down times and celebrate the up times. 

I have been blessed (I know I have said this a lot in this post but its true!). There have been so many amazing women have come into my life--so many of them were mothers themselves.  All of them sharing themselves with me.  All of them to be celebrated and thanked for helping to make me the person I am...hopefully a mother that makes my own boys proud!

Happy Mothers Day to all of you!!! And thank you for being you! xoxo

Your pump and Airport Security...what you need to know

In the news recently was a story about a 16 year old young girl who was returning from a conference.  She happened to have diabetes and was wearing an insulin pump.  She had a letter from her doctor stating that she could not go through the scanners but would require a body search.  TSA screeners in Salt Lake City felt that they knew better than this young lady or her doctor and required her to go through a full-body scanner.

She has since claimed that this act resulted in the malfunctioning of her $10,000 insulin pump.  She is not happy. Her parents are not happy and many in the diabetes community are left asking, "What are we supposed to do?" 

For me, we have done both the patdown and gone through a screener.  Until recently I have told the security personnel that my son is wearing an insulin pump and we would prefer he be patted down.  At one point they argued with me stating that as pumpers themselves, they constantly exposed themselves and their pumps to the scanner machines with absolutely no adverse effects. We decided to finally give it a try. Of course my son had some other item on his body that set off the alarm and still had to be pat down but his pump did not see any adverse damage. 

So the question remained, for those of us who will be traveling by air and having to go through airport security what do we do? According to an Animas statement released in response to the Salt Lake City incident (May 2012 Standby Statement)  "...we recommend that our patients avoid going through X-ray machines when traveling, as the machines may potentially damage the pump's software and therefore affect insulin delivery.  This includes the newest airport screening tool, Advanced Imaging Technology (AIT) or full body scanner."  They further advise pumpers to alert TSA employees that they are insulin pump users and should NOT undergo an X-ray machine.  Animas will also provide a letter to its customers that can be shared with airport personnel should they be questioned or asked to be scanned. If Animas pumpers have any further concerns, they can visit www.animas.com or call 877-767-7373.

I wondered why there was a problem, so I asked! I was curious if there were studies on how this decision was made. No studies could be found but it would appear that engineers feel that each time an electrical component goes through an x-ray machine, it fatigues some of the electrical components.  This made sense. If we get X-rays for our teeth, for the breathing issues in our lungs, after the skiing accident on our leg, and then on the six plane trips we took that year...well that's a lot of potential for fatigue!

 According to Medtronic, "You can continue to wear your insulin pump or continuous glucose monitor while going through common security systems such as an airport metal detector as it will not harm the device or trigger an alarm.  Do not send the devices through the X-ray machines.  You also need to remove your insulin pump and CGM (sensor and transmitter) while going through an airport body scanner or ask for a pat-down screening."   

I was still confused though...what is the difference between X-ray, full body scanners and metal detectors?  Google to the rescue! While I did not bother to get into the technical differences, we know that the X-ray machine is the thing that scans our purses, laptops and jackets.  How do we tell the difference between a metal detector and a body scanner? It turns out that a metal detector is the traditional screener that we have all come to love to hate.

The full body scanners are the new fangled gadgets that some airports have recently begun to implement. They look more like this...

and for some reason make me think of a woman getting ready for a mammogram!

What does all of this mean? The main message I received is to go with a pat down ideally but absolutely, 100% without a doubt do NOT put your pump on the belt with your laptop, purse or jacket to go through the X-ray machine. Do not put your pump or CGM through a body scanner but if you want to walk through a regular traditional metal scanner...well make sure that you don't have the pump clip still attached because you know that is going to set it off!

Return of the Zombie Mom

Last night was one of those nights that Murphy's Law of Diabetes fated to happen. I have been running around mentally and physically lately with a lot on my plate.  There are occasions coming up and never enough hours in a day to get caught up on everything.

Yesterday I was feeling great. I had my mom's Mothers Day gift all wrapped.  I was working on sorting out my youngest son's cell phone.  I had picked up a few of the required items for my oldest son's graduation including his card. My youngest had the new running shoes he had been bothering me about. I was happening. I finally called it a night well after 11:30. That is pretty late for me these days but I felt great! You know where this is headed right?

My biological alarm clock is back on track and at 2am I woke up.  I stumbled to my son's room, tested his blood and waited for the result. It was 5.6 (100).  What to do? What to do? He could go up.  He could go down. I didn't want to treat or reduce any insulin just in case but...

Back to bed I went. I would be up in another hour.  Once again, my personal alarm did not fail me and I crawled back out of my bed.  Good call Mama Pancreas...a lousy 4.6 (83).  This was not a good trend. I grabbed some orange juice (remember he hates the glucose tab hangover) and gave him the straw to drink. I curled up on the couch with my book and attempted to turn the words in front of me into meaningful sentence. 

Thankfully it was soon time to retest. I turned off lights and headed back to my son's room. All would be fine. Wrong! He was now 4.4 (79).  Insert profanity here alternated with the "thank you Lord for waking me up!" prayer.  Okay, more juice, more reading, more waking up. 

By about 4:30 all was good for me to head back to bed.  So much for sleep. I knew I would not get to go back to bed the next morning and I didn't. I have simply spent the day as a walking zombie but what can you expect when you live with diabetes? Only the unexpected of course!

Pump it Forward?

My oldest son is getting ready to graduate high school and establish what he wants to be when he grows up.  Besides having my own crisis that my baby could be 18 already, this has also left me wondering when I will figure out what I want to be when I grow up. I have a lot of hats that I wear and yet I often am left feeling that I am not doing enough.

In one of my many soul searching moments, I began to reread "What Color is Your Parachute?"  I was hoping it would provide me with some insight for myself or my son but instead I found a phrase that has stuck with me ever since.  "Each one Teach one."  I thought it was brilliant. I could see it in so many applications. It would not help my son decide what to do in September but what a difference it could make in the world.  It reminded me of the saying "Give a man a fish and he will have food for a meal. Teach a man to fish and he will eat for a lifetime."

This phrase will not leave my head. Could it be applied to diabetes? Isn't it already happening though? We often learn from each other. We rely on the "YMMV" rule but we get general guidance on how to make an insulin regimen work better, which pump has features we would love, what meter works the best and how a certain insulin works in a specific circumstance.

I wondered if this could further be applied to help with new pump programs. Would governments be more willing to fund programs if they didn't have to solely rely on the medical community to get people ready to pump or to follow up with them? Could we provide one to teach one? Whether they would or would not accept this idea, I quickly realized (and verified with a friend) that the medical liabilities would create far too much fear to even begin to think about this ever happening in the real world.

The concept of sharing information, education, and experience still stuck with me.  Each one Teach one.  It is so simple and yet so powerful. It could work with the diabetes boot camp I have written about many times. It was stuck with me to the point that I wondered if there was a website attached to the phrase.  Sadly for me there was. I am sure it does really great things--how could they not with such a great name?

I was not completely discouraged. I still was (am) obsessed with the concept.  As my train of thought continued to wander, I was led to the AccuChek Share to Care contest.  Sharing, teaching...paying it forward.  That was what it was all about but I was still stuck. How do you pay it forward on a larger scale? How could you "Pump it Forward"? I loved that phrase too. It was almost as good Each on Teach one.  This time I found out that it wasn't a website. It was mine for the taking. I could take that name and use it!

Use it for what? I have no idea! What does "Pump it Forward" mean to you? What would you expect to see on a website like this? Would it offer a service? I understand that there are already many great mentoring sites out there so what would be different with "Pump it Forward"?

I haven't finished reading "What Color is Your Parachute?" Perhaps I will find what I am looking for there...if you don't come up with a better idea first!