Hello...I am a Glucometer

Write a short story personifying a diabetes tool you use on a daily basis. A meter, syringe, pump, pill, etc. Give it a personality and a name and let it speak through you. What would it be happy about, upset about, mad about?  (Thank you Heather of Unexpected Blues for this topic.)

Hello, my name is Fred and I am a glucometer.  You would think with a job as important as mine that I would get a lot of respect but I don’t.  I am shoved in dark pockets, thrown around and basically taken for granted. Its a very rough life.

I am expected to be ready for service at all times of the day. It doesn’t matter if I worked hard all day, they still expect me to be bright-eyed and shining at three in the morning. And when I say shining, I mean that they really want me to light up all nice and bright showing them glowing pretty numbers. When they are done with me, they just toss me off to the side again.

My job is tireless.  They smear blood all over me.  They curse at me when they don’t like what the reading is.  Like that is my fault? How is it that I control what their blood glucose is going to be? I deserve a lot more respect.

The only time I get respect is when the parents or the doctor take a look at me.  They know how important I am.  They look at my display as if they are reading a holy gospel.  They value me and my knowledge.  My owner? Well, he looks at me like I am a rock, a burden that he is forced to carry around. I am the unwanted younger brother that he has to take everywhere.

Why does he have to think of me that way? It hurts my feelings. I am just trying to do my job. I am trying to work with him to keep him healthy.  I know that it can be tedious. It’s not picnic for me either. I mean, I have to be on all of the time! There is no time when I can be just a little less accurate. I have to bring my A-game every time we meet.  Its exhausting but I don’t get any praise or appreciation.

He just doesn’t get it and some times I get mad as well and when I do, I get even in my own way.  When he just grumpily and shoves a strip in me and expects me to instantly produce results, I come back and tell him “Error 4″.  Oh does that get his goat! He has to retest and take his time to treat me a little nicer–getting all of his blood just so on the test strip so that I will read it for him.  After he has done that, I reward him by saying “HI” but he doesn’t often see the humor in that one. I don’t understand why.  Isn’t it important to be friendly now and then? Perhaps if he could be a little nicer, we could work together a bit better and I wouldn’t have to resort to cheap jibes.

Maybe one day he will get it. One day he might understand how important I am! Oh well, at least he takes me most places. I usually only hear about the spots that we go to from the inside of a pocket but at least I get to tag along.  It’s not easy being me.  I guess it’s not easy being him either, but I still say, “work with me dude! It will make things so much easier!”  Darn! I shouldn’t have said that so loud, here comes another check. Back to work!

Share this:

• Share
• 
  

Four Hours, Just Four Hours

Yesterday we opened up about how diabetes can bring us down. Today let’s share what gets us through a hard day.  Or more specifically, a hard diabetes day.  Is there something positive you tell yourself?  Are there mantras that you fall back on to get you through?  Is there something specific you do when your mood needs a boost?  Maybe we’ve done that and we can help others do it too? (Thanks to Meri of Our Diabetic Life for suggesting this topic.)

Is there a mantra that I fall back on to get me through a hard diabetes day? Absolutely! It is one that I share with newly diagnosed adults and parents who are struggling to get through. I remind them to look at life in four-hour blocks. If you take everything in four-hour strides and you can ride through anything.

When diabetes seems to be kicking your butt every morning, look at how things are going between lunch and supper. Are things okay? Give yourself a mental high-five and celebrate that victory rather than dwelling on the post-breakfast spike that this threatening to drive you over the edge.

Do overnights seem overwhelming? Again, break it down.  How are things from snack until 12 or 1am? What is life like in the deepest part of the night? Are things settled before breakfast or has chaos been awakened in those four hours? If you break it down into six four-hour periods, life becomes a bit more manageable and instead of seeing all of the bad, you can savor some of the good.

Why do I have a four-hour mantra? Because early on I learned that my son’s Humalog was supposed to last about 4 hours.  He was injected at 8am for breakfast, then at noon for lunch, around 5pm for supper and then again at 9pm for his nighttime snack.  I was going crazy trying to see a perfect 24 hour day. I realized that looking at a complete day was never going to make me happy. The only way to see success was to look at small chunks of time.  Coincidentally, that was also how we would make changes to his regimen.  Was his breakfast ratio of carbs to insulin off? How about at bedtime? Life was naturally being broken down into 4 hour chunks for me so why not work with that?

Now I know some of you will say, but we are using a pump so that won’t work for me.  Yes it will!  Chances are high that you are still doing things like having breakfast, lunch and supper.  You are probably still going to bed at one point as well. All of these events can be broken down and again my four-hour mantra applied.  Was I a successful pancreas this afternoon? Yes? AWESOME!! Let’s break out the happy dance!!! Did I have an issue after supper? Okay, let’s look at what can be done.

Life is less overwhelming in four-hour shots. It can be applied it outside of diabetes as well.  Are you wanting to change your eating habits? Did you have a great breakfast? Pat yourself on the back. Over did it at lunch? Do better tomorrow. Can you see how easily this works?

Life can be overwhelming.  As we discussed yesterday, life with diabetes can make it worse.  Taking life four hours at a time has allowed me to focus on what I need to change and to praise myself when I get it right…and we all need a lot more praise in our lives.

Fighting the Darkness

 
May is Mental Health Month so now seems like a great time to explore the emotional side of living with, or caring for someone with, diabetes. What things can make dealing with diabetes an emotional issue for you and / or your loved one, and how do you cope? (Thanks go out to Scott of Strangely Diabetic for coordinating this topic.)

I love being part of Diabetes Blog Week because of the vast array of topics that make you stretch yourself, think and explore new avenues.  Today’s topic is one that is very personal and very difficult. I have dealt with some of the dark issues surrounding being a parent and living with a child with diabetes in last year’s webinar “Normal is Just a Setting on the Dryer” as well as throughout my blog over the years.

Most likely you have heard about the strong correlation of diabetes and depression for people living with the disease.  Diabetes presents many management challenges in learning how to be a pancreas.  It presents financial challenges in being able to afford the best care to be able to obtain your best bg levels.  Diabetes is often looked upon as something that the patient themselves caused.  Bg levels and A1cs are often judged as “good” or “bad”.  It is therefore not surprising that the stigmas and challenges of the disease can quickly become overwhelming.

As a parent, we do not have the same direct issues as our children with live with diabetes but in some respects perhaps its a bit worse because we carry the blame for it all. We ache when our child is having to deal with any of those issues. We desperately want to take all of the pain away from them.  We feel that we would gladly carry this disease to save them such pain and anguish.

Parents struggle with their guilt.  How did we let this happen to our child? What could we have done differently? Should we have breastfed longer? Was it a vaccine that caused this? Did we pass along faulty genes? It is our job to protect our children and we may feel that we have failed to protect them in the most profound of ways…we allowed them to develop type 1 diabetes.
Now I know intuitively that this is not the case. I know that I did not cause my son’s disease but was it my fault that he was so sick before he went into the hospital? I am educated. Shouldn’t I have known something was wrong? If I am honest, I did know that something was wrong. One day in the summer prior he was pale and sick…but it was just one day and we assumed he had a bug.  Before his diagnosis when he had thrush and was not himself, we had taken him to the doctor.  He said my son was fine.  I did take him back to my own doctor a few days later when things did not improve. I could not have prevented this but still the guilt lurks.

The guilt can get in the way of parenting a child with diabetes as well. We have so many issues swarming in our heads.  We have failed our children once by allowing them to get diabetes (yes, parents may have a bit of a God complex), so now it is vital that we work to keep them as healthy as possible. We get frustrated when our children lapse in their care. We become terrified when they are in the care of someone else. Will they be able to manage? We struggle to find a balance between allowing our children to learn on their own and the need to look after them at all costs.

In my own case, there were times that I would reprimand my son for forgetting a meter or strips when I really should have thought of them myself.  The frustrations of not being able to keep his bg levels always perfect, of seeing him sitting inside waiting for a low to come up when his friends were playing outside, the injustice of him having to carry so many supplies and medical devices just to go to a friend’s house would overwhelm me and boil over into anger at the silliest things. I would then worry that I had left my child with nothing but horrid memories of an ogre parent.

As my son has grown, I have come to my biggest challenge yet…letting go and finding my new place.  For the past 14 years, my one focus has been being a mom.  I managed to stay at home with both of my boys as they grew. I was able to devote a lot of my time to diabetes advocacy efforts and the care of my children which included 24/7 diabetes care for my youngest son.  My nights were spent fighting highs and lows.  My days were spent reminding him to test and bolus and helping him to count carbs.

One day it all changed. My son decided to move back to his home town and felt it was time for him to learn to care for himself. I was lost. I would wake up in the night and there was no one to test. I would sit down at a meal and I didn’t need to count those carbs. Yes, the world of diabetes advocacy still existed but did it still need me? There were many new parents who were just as passionate and they had children at home to speak about.

I had experienced depression before when dealing with a child with diabetes. As I mentioned, the frustration, guilt and anxiety can be overwhelming.  I got through with the help of some amazing online friends as well as supports in my life that were there to pull me out when I got too far down.  It was important for me to talk to people who lived there and got it, as well as people who had no clue but just wanted me to enjoy life with them.  That balance saved me on more than one occasion.

Having my son move away was different. Yes, I had many friends how also had children move away but their children had moved away for school.  Their children were out of high school and they seemed to have strong identities of their own.  I didn’t feel that way. Yes, I had a strong identity but in part that was because I was a parent of a child with diabetes and I spoke firsthand of bg testing and the challenges of raising him. Who was I now? I was not sure. I had started to expand myself and create a new business venture but it was not heading the way I wanted it to…and then my son was leaving. I was now a complete failure. I had no idea how to get out of the darkness this time.

Once again, my heart knew I wasn’t a complete failure or a bad parent (just as it said I was not the reason my son was diagnosed in the first place) but I still felt that way. The move wasn’t personal it was about a young boy wanting to stretch his wings and go back with lifelong friends rather than continue to hang out with his mother in a city that had not provided the same life-long friends. I had to get over myself. It has taken a lot to get used to the change. It has taken a lot to find my new place even in his life.

I don’t have a cure to get out of the darkness that can accompany raising a child with diabetes. I don’t have an answer that has worked for me. I still stumble and wonder “what do I do now?”  I am lucky in that I have a very supportive partner who is patient. I am slowly dipping my foot back into a bit of advocacy work.  I am working to find my way in life.

Diabetes is a challenge in itself but it also brings many hidden challenges for those who live with the disease inside of them as well as for those of us who just carry it in our hearts. The only thing we can do is move forward.  Seek help when you need it–from friends, from family and even from the medical or counseling community. There is nothing wrong with support. It is the only thing that gets us through and its strength can carry us through anything.

Ode to a Needle

 
Day two of this year’s blog week asks that we create poetry. I have not done poetry since high school and sadly that was not yesterday.  I therefore cheated and enlisted the help of my children.
This is what we came up with…
Needles are wonderful
Needles are fine
They poke and jab and and puncture me,
But keep me alive.

Some folks thinks needles are scary;
With that I must agree
But the needles that I must use
Allow me to continue to laugh, and play and be this awesome person–me!


By Liam and Barb…and don’t worry folks, we will not be taking up poetry as a full-time thing

Three Things that Raise My Dander

Its Diabetes Blog week once again and I am so excited to be able to participate once again!  Today’s topic comes for Kim of Texting my Pancreas and asks us to discuss diabetes issues that get us really fired up!

Since I began my website many years ago, the issues that I have been passionate about have grown but have always retained one common thread–improving the lives of people living with diabetes.  There have been some successes and there is still a long way to go but watching the diabetes community come together and create change has been the best part of the journey.

The first issue that got my dander up was the inequity I saw years ago in the way people with diabetes were treated when it came to the Disability Tax Credit.  As I worked on this issue, I saw that those who were approved for the credit were people who were able to stand up to the government and were willing to fight for this issue. If you were uncertain or did not know how to take on this battle, you would be denied the credit while your neighbor was approved.  There seemed to be no other logic behind how this credit was applied to people living with diabetes.
With a lot of help from other people living with diabetes and a fabulous mentor, I was able to see this issue change dramatically. Fairness was obtained and change happened to the legislation surrounding this issue. I was very proud of all the works that was done here but there were still more issues to tackle.

As I learned about diabetes and became more involved in the world of advocacy, I came to realize how difficult it was to get an insulin pump if you didn’t have the very best insurance coverage.  Once again I was outraged.  Why should it matter what sort of job you have or where you work to get the best possible care for your diabetes?

Since I first began dealing with this issue, things have changed.  Most provinces in Canada now offer provincial health care coverage for insulin pumps and supplies for all children under the age of 18.  That was great but what about older children who are just starting out in the workforce? Some provinces decided to give these young adults until age 25 to get better insurance…some provinces didn’t.  Today, I continue to work with others to see that all people living with diabetes have access to the best devices available to manage their diabetes care regardless of age. This means that I would like all governments to cover insulin pumps, supplies and Continuous Glucose Monitors for people with diabetes regardless of age.  This will happen in time. I am confident.

No matter what your age or where you live, you deserve access to the very best in medical care.  It is important for governments (and insurance companies) to understand the broad sweeping benefits that come from best care practices. If a person with diabetes is able to maintain their bg control to a close to normal range and they are able to anticipate highs and lows with the aid of CGM technology they are better able to perform at work (which means less down time and more money paid to the government in terms of personal tax), they are less likely to be in the hospital (costing the government money), and more likely to have a better overall life satisfaction which in turn further leads to increased productivity and once again an increase in taxes paid to governments. The cost outlay is far outweighed by the benefits to the system as a whole.

At the moment, I live in a province that covers insulin pumps for people with Type 1 diabetes until they reach the age of 25. It does not cover CGM technology.  I have less than 9 years to advocate for increased funding to cover all people with diabetes regardless of age.  In 9 years my own son will be in the position of having to make very serious and real choices about his diabetes care. We will see this change–for him and for all of the other adults struggling to maintain their health despite the heavy financial costs.

Because my son is still in school and has had diabetes since before he went to school, the third issue that I am passionate about is that of children with diabetes in schools. This issue has seen major changes since I first began talking about it over 10 years ago.  In BC, we have seen the power of grassroots parent organizations who have pressured the government into changing its policy on children with diabetes in schools.  I have seen many more individual boards and provinces begin to seriously look at the issue of protecting the rights of children with diabetes in schools.

Once again, this is an issue that many parents and children are not able to stand up and voice their concerns about themselves. I felt that it was therefore my job to help them.  I would (and do) speak to parents on how best to tackle their schools and their issues. I work with boards to help them understand what needs to be done to create change that is fair and just to all parties involved. This is a very complex issue here in Canada. Our children are not protected by a disabilities act. They are protected by the voices of their parents and other concerned adults…but these voices are powerful and making a difference.

Advocacy has always been something that I am very passionate about. I have felt a strong need to stand up for those who may not be able to stand up for themselves.  I have worked for the past 14 years to ensure that people living with diabetes are all treated fairly with equal access to education, medical devices and supplies.  This is a long road.  It has seen many battles won and I am proud to be able to continue fighting the war along side many incredible people.

The Secret to My D-Success

Today’s blog week prompt asks us to talk about the greatest accomplishment you have made in terms of dealing with diabetes–something that I did that made our life better.  My first thought was learning how to dose for food.  That may sound pretty basic but for some reason, it took a lot for me to get this to sink in.

My son was two years old when he was diagnosed.  At that time, he was on a strict meal plan.  I would inject him with two types of insulin and then pray he would eat.  Most of the time he wouldn’t. He would eat and then vomit. He would chew the food and hold it in his cheek without swallowing. He would pass out from lows.  I would cry.  He would cry.  Our life was filled with stress because he was too young to know that he had to eat to cover the insulin in his system and I was too shell shocked to digest the advice I had been given from our diabetes team on how to dose for meals.

In my mind, he had to have insulin to keep him healthy.  He had to have both types of insulin. This was the medicine that would keep him alive. I had learned carb counting. I understood carb to insulin ratios but again, insulin=life and I could not alter that way of thinking. Until I joined the world of the internet.

The best thing I ever did for my son’s diabetes care was dialing up that connection, searching for parents of children with diabetes, joining an email list, and asking what to do about my son going low and refusing to eat. From those few simple steps, our lives changed forever!

One of the first people who told me to dose for what he ate and inject AFTER he ate onlyIF he did eat remains a dear friend today. For whatever reason, when she sent me those words everything clicked when it hadn’t before.  Our lives changed.  If my son didn’t eat, I didn’t inject his rapid acting insulin and our day went on without tears or vomiting!

I now had support. I now had a group of people who understood and had been where I was living.  I had access to information on the latest technological advances.  I had access to the advice of hundreds of endos just by sitting in front of my computer screen and reading.  I had new friends that would comfort me after a rough day and kick me in the butt when I needed to get over things.

I now had a family that would be there for me through bittersweet moments like the first time my son tested himself.  They would encourage me in my advocacy efforts.  This new family would offer support and encouragement as my marriage fell apart.  They would be there to share the pride when my oldest son graduated.

The most outstanding thing I ever did for my son’s diabetes care was joining the Children with Diabetes parents mailing list.  Through the guidance and support of many amazing and now dear friends who have become family, I am able to ensure my son has the best diabetes care.  I know of the latest breakthroughs in technology and management.  I have been able to change federal policy and impact how things are done in a large number of areas.  Thanks to finding that one group of incredible people, I have become knowledgeable and strong.  My son has been able to be healthy and lead a rich life with the entire world in front of him.

Memorable Diabetes Memories

Its Day 3 of Diabetes Blog Week and today’s prompt asks us to revisit our most memorable diabetes day. I really had to think about this one.  The most obvious, and seared in my brain diabetes day is of course the day my son was diagnosed but I havewritten about that one on numerous times. I then thought of the day that I found out that I had one my battle and the Disability Tax Credit was legislatively changed to be fairly applied to all people living with diabetes. Once again, I had written about that one too. (Actually I chronicled it while it was going on) .

That left me to come up with another diabetes memory of significance to me.  I then remembered a picture that I had seen on my mom’s Facebook wall. It was of me and my children on the evening that I won the Jeff Hitchcock Award at the Friends for Life Conference.  That was pretty darn memorable and incredibly surreal. It was definitely worth reliving….

It was 2007 and I had been invited to attend the upcoming Friends for Life Conference in Orlando.  I was beyond excited.  Not only was I going to get to take my children to Disneyland after a particularly trying year but I was going to get to spend time with my amazing online family!  I am not sure who was more excited.

As we checked into the hotel, we were surrounded by people we knew who quickly showed us the ropes.  I needed an extra key for my oldest son because he would be hanging out with other kids and coming and going at different times.  The rest of our time was a blurr. It went quickly as I attended sessions and dealt with a pump failure but as anyone can tell you, there is no better place on earth for a pump to fail than a CWD FFL conference! Within less than an hour, we had a loaner pump on my son and a new one being delivered to the registration desk the next day.

I enjoyed time with friends, a drink by the pond, watching the alligators and simply being with people who understood my life. I was talking to the best diabetes experts in the world.  There were researchers, doctors, nurses, and parents who had been there (and were still there).  Nothing could be better—or so I thought!

The evening of the banquet arrived and my children and I sat with another family that I knew from the parents email list.  Speeches were made.  Awards were handed out and then they mentioned something called the Jeff Hitchcock award.  For those who don’t know, Jeff is the founder of the children with diabetes website, a father, husband, and all round amazing person. This award was first given to him and is now given to people who have done outstanding work in the diabetes world. Recipients include people like lawyer Michelle Rago, Tom Karlya  the Diabetes Dad, Joe Solowiejczyk, Audrey Greenfield, Dr. David Harlan and the list goes on!

Imagine my surprise on that July evening, when it was announced that the 2007 winnerwas me! I was not a world traveller. I was not the face of diabetes. I was just a mom who would now forever be in the company of some of the most amazing people the diabetes community is privileged to have. I was stunned and honoured.

As I left the banquet hall, people were congratulating me.  Some where strangers, many were people whose work I had admired for years.  I was in a cloud.  I was in the best place on earth, with the most incredibly family ever and I had just received one of the highest honours I could ever receive.  That was definitely a very, very memorable moment in our life with diabetes.

My Petition to Mankind

Today’s blog week prompt challenges us to come up with our own online petition. There have been a few petitions circulating lately so if I had my choice, what would I petition for?

That is a real challenge.  I have read a few posts asking for greater meter accuracy and even petitioning test strips to find their way to the garbage can. I would of course love to see both of those things happen! I would also love protection for all children with diabetes in schools. I would love for cheaper air fares that would allow families to travel with greater ease to diabetes related events.

I think the thing that I truly want more than anything else is access to devices and supplies for EVERYONE!  I don’t care where you live in the world, you should have access to enough insulin, syringes, test strips, pumps, and CGMs. I cringe when I hear of anyone who can only test once a day (or less).  I cry when I hear of people barely able to afford insulin. My heart breaks when people have to choose which child will have an insulin pump because both children have diabetes but they can’t afford a pump and supplies for two children. That just should not be.

So pharmaceutical companies, governments of the world, humanity, I am begging of you…

• Please ensure that everyone who needs insulin has access to  the best available insulin no matter where they live.
• Please make sure that everyone, no matter where they live, have clean and sterile syringes.
• Please ensure that all people living with diabetes have adequate access to the most effective glucometers and as many test strips as they need to manage their diabetes care to the best of their abilities. 
• Please ensure that the most innovative insulin pumps are available to anyone with diabetes, anywhere in the world, who wants to use them.
• Please ensure that Continuous Glucose Monitors are available to everyone who wants to use them as another management tool no matter where they live or how much insurance they have.
• Please ensure that all people living with diabetes have access to the best possible tools, education, and devices regardless of insurance, race, financial background, or geographical location.

No one should have to make the choice between food and life, between electricity and insulin.  Let us become a humane and just society offering the best possible healthcare to all of the Earth’s citizens not just a select few.

Signed,

A mother who cares.

This entry was posted in Life with diabetes and tagged diabete

Diabetes Hero

Our last prompt for Diabetes Blog Week is to blog about a "Diabetes Hero".  Again, there are so many of them out there.  Jeff Hitchcock remains a hero for all that he has done for children with diabetes and their parents. Without his website, I would not have met the many Parents of Diabetes who also remain at the top of my hero list. 

I have never really been one into the "hero" concept.  So many people struggle each day.  So many people do amazing things. They awe me.  They may make me proud to know them but what really is a hero? I headed off to Google once again to search for a definition. They defined a hero as "a man of distinguished courage or ability, admired for his brave deeds or noble qualities."

I began to think of my sons...first they were male so that allows them into the category but did they fit the rest of the definition? Are they courageous or do they have amazing abilities? Yes, they fit there too.

My youngest son has faced diabetes with courage every day since he was two years old.  We have had our battles but he rarely ever cried when injected. I never had to chase or bribe him to test him...until he was older.  He inserts his infusion sets with only the occasional bit of theatrics (that I am sure are well founded but I won't tell him that).  He has faced blood tests and blood squirting across the table from "gusher" sites.  He nobly sits through diabetes conferences despite not wanting to be there.  He rarely, if ever tells me that he hates diabetes. Its part of his life. He is quiet about it. He does not like to bring attention to himself or his diabetes but that is just him. He is my strong, silent son.  

My older son doesn't have diabetes but he has had to live with it in the house nonetheless. He has had the ability to watch out for his younger brother when in school and help teachers make diabetes related decisions.  He has gone to diabetes conferences as well and made the most of them, making friends and becoming a part of the events.  He has not grumbled much about the energy his mother puts into diabetes advocacy and knows that when he needs help on his own issues, I am there as well.  He is patient. He is kind. He is confident and outgoing. He treats his brother like anyone else.  He torments him when high.  He brings him juice when he is low. 

My boys have handled diabetes in our lives with as much poise and grace as can be expected.  They have not screamed or truly rebelled. They have made it a part of their lives, rolling with each new challenge and forging ahead. They are my Diabetes Heroes.

Saturday Snapshots

The sadness in his face kills me even now

Testing anywhere you want to go!

My son thinks that this is a real bg reading!

Possibly the most terrifying pic of me ever but LOVE the people I am with!

Forced to attend a diabetes function but as long as there is a smart phone, he can listen to everyone's stories once again!

Joe S. has a new Olympic sport...everyone test together!!



What they should know...

What would I like people who don't have diabetes to know? Ah the list could be long!

I recently went to a diabetes event and there was much talk about the positive parts of diabetes, downplaying the bad and making the best of each day.

I agree with that to an extent. I will never tell my son he can't do something. I will always promote the best of life with diabetes to him. I try to expose him to people who are positive and doing great things. As with his brother, I remind him that he is smart and the sky is the limit.

This changes when I am dealing with people who have no understanding of diabetes or people who are in an arena of politics that I need to influence.  I want the outside world to understand that while people with diabetes are pilots and hockey players, that they are lawyers and nurses, they are teachers and mechanics BUT they have to take extra precautions.

I want people to know that these people who look so normal on the outside, work hard to maintain their health.  Each night they go to bed wondering if they will wake up.  This is not some abstract or unfounded fear, this is their reality. People do go low and if left undetected, these people can die. 

These people have to measure each morsel of food that enters their mouth and know its nutritional components.  They have to know how much insulin their body will require to properly use that insulin.  If they make a mistake in this math, they will have to pay the consequences.  They will experience blurred vision, head aches, and a poor attitude if they are high.  They will be shaky and not be able to think clearly if they are low.  They will appear drunk or aggressive. They will appear to be very different people from their normal relaxed attitudes.  These are the realities that they face each day.

They carry around a suitcase of supplies--glucometers, test strips, glucose, insulin pumps, syringes, CGMs, and more. They test their blood and inject themselves with insulin numerous times each day.  They stab so many holes themselves, that as Joe Solowiejczyk notes, its amazing that they are not human sprinklers with liquids squirting out all over their bodies! 

These amazing people with diabetes rarely complain.  They do things to their bodies each day that we never think of. They play God in trying to figure out what their body would normally do in each situation like when stressed, when active or when relaxing on the couch. 

They are asked to spend incredible amounts of money to keep themselves alive. Like those living with Alzheimer's, Parkinson's, and cancer, the medications and devices that they require each day to stay alive and healthy may or may not be covered by insurance.  The out of pocket costs can reach thousands of dollars each month.  The stresses are incredible.

So what do I want people without diabetes to know about those who live with it? These people with diabetes are REMARKABLE! Their pancreases have quit on them but they have not quit on life.  They work harder than you and I.  They have to think about things that they shouldn't just to get up each morning but they continue to fight each day.  Be amazed by them.  Be proud of them and most of all support them in every way you can!

Diabetes BFFs

I can't believe it but once again I am going to take part in Diabetes Blog Week.  After a month of blogging, this week should be a piece of cake but doesn't this week also happen to fall on the same week that my oldest son graduates from high school? Karen, what are you doing to me? Despite that fact, I am going to do my very best to keep up and join in because I truly LOVE Diabetes Blog Week!!

Day one's challenge is to share our favorite, and hopefully new to others, bloggers.  That is a tough one! I admittedly do not constantly follow a lot of people. I watch for their posts to show up on twitter and when they catch my eye I read. 

Having had diabetes as an unwanted house guest for over 12 years, dealing with a toddler, a preteen and now a teen with diabetes, my favorite blogs come from adults. I want to hear from those who have been there and somehow lived through it. 

I still enjoy the comic relief and raw prose of people like Reyna at Beta Buddies.  I completely admire the courage of Meri at Our Diabetic Life. Blogs such as The Corner Booth have given me a huge insight to the world in which my son lives.  I will be sad to no longer see Mike's updates there but look forward to reading more from him in his new role with Diabetes Mine. 

Another young adult that I enjoy following is Lauren from The LD.  Her struggles and her youth is both refreshing and informative. I often want to reach out, give her a hug and take over her care for a bit to give her a break. She continues to amaze me.

There are so many great blogs out there. These are just a few of my favorites and I look forward to finding many more as others share during the first day of "Diabetes Blog Week"!

Day 3: Diabetes Bloopers

Day three of Blogfest as proven to be my biggest challenge.  Today I have been asked to discuss the funny things that have gone wrong since Diabetes moved into our house.  I will admit to having heard some great stories over the years from other families.  There is the father who tested the dog during the night rather than his son.  There is the mother, so exhausted that she bought a "serious"  alarm clock.  The alarm, its blinking lights and siren, woke the neighbourhood and brought the police to her door out of concern, but this exhausted family slept through the clock's screams.

We are by no means perfect.  I have stumbled into my son's room at night and almost tested his brother or any other young person who happened to be sleeping in his room at the time.  I have inserted an infusion set repeatedly unable to understand why it would not stick...until he told me that I had not taken off the backing from the site.  We have found test strips in plants, washers, the fridge and more.  Our shower was covered with dead infusion sets for years.

We have the story of my mother trying to test my child at 3am for the first time.  She had sweat pouring off of her as she tried to lance his finger without disturbing him.  After a half an hour, he woke up, grabbed the lancing device and dealt with things himself.  He never let her touch him with anything sharp again.  He even did his own site changes for the first time in his life rather than letting her stab at him.

We have enjoyed asking in a rather loud voice, ARE YOU HIGH? When out in public and seeing the horrified looks of people passing us by. 

We have made fun of Diabetes.  We have created Diabetes songs to help with site rotations but to come up with a best of blooper...well we are still waiting for that one that truly sticks out.  In the meantime we will continue to enjoy the fabulous tales of others until our turn arrives.

Diabetes Blog Week Day 2 Challenge...Glucose Tablets and Us

So are you having fun yet? Day 2 of the Diabetes Blog Week and I am still keeping up. I am so proud of myself but the topics are getting a lot more difficult. Making the low go...What is our favourite way to bring up a low? 


Personally I loved the day we found bottles of glucose tablets.  When we started our diabetes journey all we used were Jr. Juice boxes.  I thought that they were the cat’s meow. They had 15 grams of carbohydrates and you could take them anywhere.  Well sort of...after a bit of time they swell.  After a few years they ferment.  They do tend to leak and you should keep them in a baggie.  You can’t use just half a juice pack for a small low. You know those ones when they are just beginning to drop?

Candy was never a real alternative for us because my son thought is was so great to have junk that he savoured it.  Mom hovered scared to death that he would plunge and pass out.  The child sucked on that candy, licked at that lollypop and enjoyed every long second of it. Mom’s nerves just couldn’t take that sort of thing so glucose tablets became our next option.

At first we could only get the BD ones.  The flavour was awesome. I mean who doesn’t like a creamsicle? The cost was crazy. I couldn’t justify it. American friends heard of our plight and began to send us care packages.  We got tubes of glucose tablets and they came in all sorts of flavours! They had bottles of these things...and they came in all sorts of flavours!

So what is our favourite way to treat lows? Well for Mom it is glucose tablets.  They are quick.  They are efficient and occasionally just one tablet is fine while you can also give him four when needed. For child, glucose tablets are great to carry around. Candy is cool to get to eat but the Dex4 liquid? That is where its at! They are his favourite and have become a “treat”.  His brother will fake a low just to get either one. “Mom I am positive I am low. I really need those tablets/liquid”  Yes, we give out Green Apple glucose tablets or Dex4 liquid as Easter treats in our house!

Diabetes Blog Week Day 1...Our day with diabetes

Wow, its that time already! Diabetes Blog Week! Here is the first task completed...what an average day is like in our house...with diabetes. 

I always wonder where does the night end and the day begin? Technically a new day starts at midnight but three in the morning still feels like I am dragging my butt through the day before.  In my world, the day starts when I have to get myself out of bed and stay there...that’s at about seven in the morning.

What happens at seven in the morning at our house is pretty close to seven in the morning at most homes.  Seven on a Monday means that Mom gets up and decides what to cook for breakfast.  Pancakes it is! The batter is mixed, the pan is heated and the cooking begins.  The first batch is done and I wait for my oldest to shuffle down the stairs to dig into his meal.

As the second batch cooks, I begin making lunches for noon.  My children both eat their lunch at school.  Only one has easy access to a microwave so both kids get lunches that can be eaten cold....this tends to equate to sandwiches all around! The sandwiches are created, juices are found, yogurt is added to provide the token healthy factor and a cookie is added for the junk factor.  Despite the contents appearing the same, the lunches have one major difference that lets my boys know who’s lunch is who’s.  One has a piece of paper attached to it and has a specific cookie.

The piece of paper is for my youngest. It lists out the carb count of each item of food. Once upon a time the carb counts would be a total of what was for lunch and then what was for recess but now that he is much older, he decides what he wants to eat and when.  To make sure that at least his carbs are accurate, I list his food for him.

The specific cookie is the one that was weighed.  It has been carefully set on the scale that sits on our counter so that I can know exactly how many carbs are baked into that little morsel of goodness.

By now the second batch of pancakes is cooked and ready to be served.  This batch of pancakes, like the cookie, must be weighed.  Our food scale has been a lifesaver.  It sits proudly on the counter and occasionally takes a place of honour at the table. When I have the carbs counted and logged in my son’s logbook, I begin the task of finding out where the heck my sleepy youngest teen is now!

After the morning bathroom break and washing of hands, he tends to arrive at the table as his food is cooling.  He grabs the nearest glucometer (there never tends to be any less than three sitting in one place but never any when you are looking for them) and tests.  He soon hears me calling out “Did you pre-bolus those pancakes? Are you having anything to drink with that? Did you add in those carbs? What was your reading? Did you correct for the high?”  And yes, that is all said without taking a breath and no real time for much more than a quick yes or no.

As my son heads for the door he is bombarded by yet another set of questions... “Do you have your meter? Are there enough test strips? How much insulin do you have? Are you sure that’s enough for the day?”  He mumbles “Yes Mom. This is me you are talking about!” and heads out the door.  I know who I am talking about and worry.

Times have changed. Rarely do I get those calls from the school saying that he is low or “what do I do about....? He has been high all morning. Etc.   Now my son knows how to handle these things and the staff is well versed in the “drill” after having him around for the past 8 years. I still get those calls of “Mom, I forgot my meter. Mom, I’m out of insulin.” But thankfully they are much rarer than days of old.

As diabetes heads off with my son, I get a small break for a few hours. Well I get a direct break but I spend my time answering questions, searching for answers, doing research, raising money and basically living a little more with diabetes.

At 3pm my phone rings. “Mom, come and pick me up?”

“Why?”

“I’m low and you said I can’t walk home.”

“I’m on my way.”

When we get home he gets to enjoy watching tv without me telling him to fill out his log book or do his homework.  He is in his own version of heaven while I hover. Oblivious to time passing, I finally call out “Did you retest?” and get back the usual “In a minute.”

As things are fine, our life returns to normal as my boys wrestle and carry on before supper.  In our house you know that supper is ready when you hear “Wash your hands and test!”.  Its a standard call used to get everyone to the table.  I fill plates--carefully measuring one.  As I finally sit down to the table I again ask my son that question “Did you pre-bolus?”  To get the answer “nope.”  I suggest that he should do so now.  I again get the response “How much?”  Aahhh!! “Well, how much food do you have? There is 20 g of potatoes, meat, green salad, and 25 for that glass of juice so let’s start with 45g.”  My son’s response is “Yeah, but I was low so you have to subtract off another 15.”  Wrong kiddo, YOU have to subtract 15.  Finally the meal is bloused and he is off to do homework and over the course of five hours, try to fill out his log book.

Two hours later I have yet to see my son. I have heard the rumblings of a Wii.  I have heard the thump of some wrestling.  I have even heard the telltale beeping of a pump but no child.  “Have you done your two hour after test?”

“I was just on my way down.”

“What was that beeping?”

“Site change.  I’ll do it after my shower.”

Ah the fun! Despite the fact that my stomach is still full, the two hour post meal test also seems to signal the teenaged need to eat...for another two hours straight. I tend to ignore him now because he is quite good and calculating and bolusing.  The scale sits on the table and tasty treats fly by me to be eaten by a half-starved young man and matched with insulin from his pump.

The night winds down and he changes his site, his cartridge, tests and heads to bed. I yell out once again but this time to see if he is in range.  He is running a little high so I set out with my book to read for a few hours.  I don’t feel right about going to sleep until I know that he is in a safe range.  The high may persevere or he may have corrected too much. He doesn’t wake for his lows and I have no desire to wake to a seizure or worse.

After a few hours of reading I test and feel good about dozing off for a few hours. Its now midnight but my night is not over. I toss and turn thinking about my day.  Finally I fall asleep after one but wake up an hour later.  There is a strange white noise coming from the baby monitor in my room.  The sane part of my brain wants to sleep and ignore it.  My heart says, a strange thing wakes you so you must get your butt out of bed and TEST!  I crawl out and am thankful that I listened to my heart. My son is low.  A juice, twenty minutes of waiting time, and I retest.  He is low again.  It takes over 90 minutes for me to get to a range that makes me feel warm and fuzzy again.  I can finally go to sleep...well except for the fact that my mind is now quite alert with no desire to sleep! I will find sleep. I will find sleep.....

What the heck is that alarm doing going off already!?!