Another Night, Another Battle with the DMonster

3:15am.  I looked at the clock and began to do the math. How long was it since my son went to bed? What would his bg level have been? Do I really need to test yet or was it too soon? My bed was comfy.  It took me forever to fall asleep.  Did I need to get up or should I sleep another hour?

I figured that he had probably tested around 1am but something still made me drag my tired butt out of bed. I made sure to not be fully awake. No major movements to disturb the still sleeping parts of my body.  All would be fine. My mind would be appeased and I could go back to bed…or so I would have liked but the meter said differently.

He was 4.3 (77).  Not ideal for sleeping in my world.  I quickly woke the rest of my body and my brain began to fire on a few more cylinders.  It was time to find some glucose! I went to the fridge and for some reason it was filled with diet Pepsi, diet lemonade, and zero calorie flavored water.  Nothing with any decent amount of carbs in it! Okay no panic I had glucose somewhere. Eventually I found a bottle of liquid glucose.  I got my son up enough to drink and sat on the couch to wait.

I checked out the world of Twitter. I caught up on the latest happenings in the world of Facebook and read a few pages of my book.  Soon it was time to check him again.  Success…well sort of. He was now 4.6 (83).  It was still far from ideals but he was on his way up.  I scoured his room and found a bottle of glucose tablets. He would not be happy in the morning. He says that they leave a crappy taste in his mouth when he gets up but a glucose hangover it would be.  I fed him three tablets while he slept and returned to my own bed.

I wish I could say that I instantly fell asleep but I didn’t.  By 5:30 I was still staring at  the clock.  Thankfully its Saturday so I could sleep in a little bit but by 6 I checked one more time just to make sure all was still okay. He was a lovely 7(126) so I was happy to doze for a few more hours.

Diabetes may have kicked my sleep pattern to the curb for one night but we are ready to fight another day…and make a few changes to summer basal patterns!

 

One for Diabetes...Sleepless for me

Diabetes wins...but I put up a good fight!

This weekend was definitely one made for my youngest son.  Friday night he got to take his quad for a run.  He was able to check out a few new roads and race his machine over the snow.  An hour of activity, no real need to worry abut a drop in bg levels during the night.

Saturday saw him head out for another few runs.  He continued his exploration, following skidoo trails and finding amazing paths...until he hit a bog.  He found himself knee deep in mud with a quad that refused to budge.  There were no trees near enough for him to winch the bike out.  His phone had died thanks to the cold.  My young son and his friend began the trek back to the cabin with plans to return to the area in the daylight with reinforcements. 

He got back with a reading of 3.9 (70).  He was just in time to grab a juice before diabetes could cause him trouble.

Later that evening, fearing that someone else might remove the quad from the mud before morning, we headed back to get his machine.  After Mom ended up with mud in her boots and deftly avoided a near disastrous fall into the mud, the quad was free and back on the snow where it belonged. 

That night he ate...and he ate.  Mom was thinking however and under bolused his meals.  Diabetes was not going to ruin her night's sleep! It didn't. When I woke to test him, he was in a beautiful range and we both could continue to rest uneventfully. 

Sunday was another day of fun...without the mud.  My son headed off to re-explore a trail we had enjoyed in the spring.  We then packed up our belongings and headed for home.  Before my car was unpacked, he was off again but this time on skidoo.  Two hours of racing through powder I am sure topped off his weekend and made studying for exams that evening slightly more bearable.

I should have known that there would be trouble. I had dodged the bullet all weekend.  He had some hot chocolate as he studied.  He later came into my room announcing that I had failed in my carb counting and he was low.  I reminded him to be over 6(108) before heading to bed.  After a few more prompts of "did you test?", we both headed off to sleep.

I planned to wake by 2 or 3 at the latest but those watching over my son knew better. I slept until 4am. I kicked myself as I got out of bed.  Somehow I knew that this night I was not going to be lucky. This was the night that he would be low.  

My premonition was dead on.  He wasn't low...yet but my continuous glucose mom alarm said that he was probably dropping.  Two glucose tablets in his mouth and I headed back to bed to wait.  I knew I wouldn't sleep. I hoped for a 15 minute nap at least but no, I stayed awake, watching the clock and reading about other mother's also up with their children with diabetes.  After 15 minutes I checked my son's blood again.  He had stayed the same.  More glucose tablets were required. I was not going to be able to sleep with him in the 4s (70s).

As the clock ticked down, I waited.  I tossed in my bed. I wondered if it would be possible to go back to sleep after all of this. I knew it would not be easy and that by 6am my upstairs neighbours would be banging around getting ready for work.  I was right on all counts.  My son was finally in range after 5am and I probably got another 30 minutes of sleep before I had to get up. 

Diabetes won this round...but I still have my son.

Why did I listen?

I could use some toothpicks to hold up my eyelids today.  First I tossed and turned in bed.  I finally fell asleep after one this morning and woke in a panic at 4am.  I wanted to test my son a little earlier than that but it was what it was. 

I dragged myself out of bed. Despite tweaks to his basal rate he was still running high. I wondered if it was a carb counting error because he simply eyeballs his cereal rather than weighing it.  Yes, he does normally get that right but still it bugs the control freak in me.  

I input the correction into his pump and waited.  Every night for the past two nights, the pump has complained of a blockage part way through the correction. Yes, that should have been a warning to me. I should have changed the site on one of those two times but his readings were pretty good at all other times.  

Foolishly, I mentioned the issue to my son and suggested that he may want to do a site change. He told me that it was all in my head. The site was fine. The reason for the alarm was that he was sleeping on his stomach when the correction was deliverying and that was causing the occlusion alarm.  

Why did that make sense to me? I have no idea.  I guess because its was a large dose of insulin versus the normal nightly basal delivery. For some reason I was okay with his reasoning...until the third time! 

Last night I once again waited. Once again I was not to be disappointed.  His pump swore that there was still a problem. I gave up.  A site change it was.  Four in the morning, weary but out came the supplies and up popped my son in his bed wondering what I was doing! I was relieving myself of further anxiety and stress. The site was moving! 

The correction worked perfectly in the new location and he swears that all is fine this morning.  I am still not sure why I bothered to listen to his logic the first time around but live and learn I guess! 

All in a night's work

"Your correction didn't work." 

"What do you mean?  Did you fix it?"

My son looked at me a little strange. "There must have been a kink in the tubing or something.  The correction didn't work. I fixed it when I got up."

It was now my turn to be perplexed. "Why didn't you just fix it last night when I corrected you?" For some reason I feared an occlusion alarm last night but really didn't worry because my son was awake and would be able to deal with it. 

"Why would I fix it?" he asked. "I was asleep." 

I told him that he was not asleep. He jumped up in his bed when I took his finger to test and then sat there staring at me.  When I did test him I asked him if he felt high.  He said no so I retested to make sure that the meter was accurate. I also asked him if he had been high before he went to bed but he didn't think he had remembered to do that last test. 

My son continued to look at me like I was insane. "I did not wake up last night. I don't remember you coming in to test me. I never talked to you after you went to bed until now." 

The look on my son's face when he jumped up in his bed did make me wonder if he was low or a little bit out of it.  My boys do talk in their sleep and have been known to climb walls while chasing someone in their dreams so the fact that my youngest failed to remember any of our conversation last night is not overly concerning.  The fact that he was high after being lower the night before is more likely attributed to the incredible amount of restaurant pizza than it is to a rebound. All in all, its just another night in our slightly odd life with diabetes! 

I often feel like the mother in Robert Munch's "Love you forever"

Waking up is a good thing

My son got off of the plane, stumbled towards me and yawned. He had to be up at 6am and for a teen who likes to sleep until noon, this was just way too early!

After our initial chatter he turned to me and said "You will be happy to know that I now wake up from my lows."  


"You mean you woke up more than once?"


"Yeah, I wake up feeling starved. I hate it. It messes with my sleep."

"Waking up is a good thing. The alternative is not waking up!" 


"I know but it wrecks my sleep. I would rather have uninterrupted sleep." 


"That is not an option.  Waking up is a great thing. I hope you continue it!" 


"Sleep is a good thing. I would really rather just keep sleeping. That would be great."


I shook my head and attempted to explain that an eternal sleep was not an ideal. My son grumbled some more. He is not nearly as enthused as his mother is.  He understands my relief but yet another glitch in his life thanks to Diabetes is not at all welcome.  


Oh well! Hopefully we are onto something that lasts! 

Sometimes your the bug

Originally posted in 2009 but the feelings remain the same....

Today I am definitely feeling like the bug. Its after midnight and of course I was dying to get to sleep. I set my alarm for early tomorrow morning...my son's last day of school. I found a meter and a strip. I grabbed a lancet, waded through all of the junk that the boys had left on the stairs rather than putting away and was off to test. One last check for a few hours. One check and I could sleep! We had been out for pizza to celebrate good grades so my youngest son would still be high. He was 16 (288) earlier so you know I was going to be able to rest.


Wrong! I took the meter. I filled his finger with blood. The strip refused to suck. What the???? Okay, I cleaned the finger. I got more blood. I tried again. It just barely accepted the blood. I waited for the reading...E5. It was an error reading!! Not enough blood. Oh the lovely four letter words that were on the tip of my tongue as I headed back downstairs. Let me try this again.


New meter. This one had to be better. New strip. Same lancing device. Back up the stairs, this time grumbling and picking up items as I went. I threw the items off to the side for the boys to deal with tomorrow and headed to my son's bed. Once again, I lance his finger. Once again, I get a large amount of blood. The strip sucks this time. I walk towards the stairs not even thinking about having to correct. Good thing...he was 3.2 (57). More choice words as I shuffle off to get some juice. I fill a glass, find a straw and do those stairs for a third time in less than five minutes. He is not keen on drinking. I finally get him to sip. He drinks it all except the last few drops. Those are sucked up into the straw and then fly all over his pillow. He is using my cream pillow cases and I have managed to get strawberry juice on them! I can't even blame him but I am choked. I clean them as best as I can and now I wait. Why are 15 minutes a lifetime when you are dead tired and simply want this day to end?


Yeah! 5.5 (99) and I am off to bed for two hours. Oh the fun! Oh the joys! Oh where is my DexCom Seven Plus????

Twice in one year!

Last night I pulled out the log book we are keeping for our next d-clinic appointment (and I will probably try keeping it up for a while after).  I grabbed my son's meter and began to write down the results.  

After our chat the day before about missed tests, everything was in a row.  Tests were done. Life was looking good. Readings were everywhere of course. There were highs that I thought I had taken care of and there was a low...where in the world did that come from!!! There was a low at 1am. I never dealt with that low. My son and I had watched a movie together that night and gone to bed at the same time! The lights were out in his room at midnight but there is a 2.6(47) at one in the morning!!!

I yelled out to my son. "Get out here!!!" I was trying to breathe and focus.  He was low at one in the morning.  He didn't retest but he was okay. He was alive when I checked him at 3am.  He had woken up to a low??? He has only once in over twelve years of diabetes ever woke to a low. He woke to a low? 

My son came out of his room wondering what he had done wrong.  "I tested Mom.  You can see. I did all of my tests."

"Yes and you did one at 1am and you were low."

"I know and I was scared I would fall asleep before I could retest so I made sure that I had a really big glass of juice and followed it up with bread and jam.  I figured that that should keep me safe either way."

I wanted to cry.  I was so very happy that he had woken up on his own. How did I miss this? I never even woke to hear him get up! He had done it all on his own.  He was okay! 

"You did perfectly.  I am so impressed that you woke up!"

"Me too." he said in a sheepish voice. 

"Next time, wake me up.  I would have covered you in case you fell asleep. Don't ever deal with a low by yourself if it can be helped.  Its better to have someone watch your back just in case you do fall asleep. Lows can make you tired at the best of times. Just come in and get me.  I will gladly give you a hand but you did a great job.  I am really impressed and so glad that you woke up!" 

I could see the relief in his face and again it made me want to cry.  He was growing. He was learning.  He had a few more years to get this on his own but he was working towards it and its is such a heavy burden.  I cannot begin to imagine what it is like to know, to grow up and know that if you don't wake up at night when your body is low and if you don't treat it properly...well you might not wake up.  No child, no adult for that matter should have to live with that knowledge in the back of their head. 

I am so glad he woke but boy do I hate diabetes!  

Angels and alarm clocks

"Mom, I am going out on bike for a bit!"

"Did you test?"

"Did I test? Mom, would I engage in strenuous physical activity without first testing my blood sugar levels? Of course I tested!"

Insert eye roll! "Yes you would!" I yelled to him as he headed out the door. I do have to admit however, that he is improving. He still forgets to test. He still is not keen on testing or showing his pump in public but he is getting better.

When he goes out, I still have moments of panic.  Will he deal with a low when he is with his friends or will he find himself in trouble? Did he remember all of his supplies? Are his pockets filled with glucose? Does he have his phone? The moments of panic are fading a little more quickly. I am starting to have a bit of confidence in his abilities but I am sure that I will never be 100% free of worry.

My son returned to the house after an hour, full of sweat and ready to jump in the shower. "Don't forget to test!" I reminded him. It was his turn to give me the eye roll!

That night I went through his meter. I had been slack in checking but all had seemed good. I knew that with increased summer activity problems were soon going to arise but once again I debated...lower the night time basal and risk him going high or let it ride? He hadn't been that active...or so I thought. Perhaps the day of studying and being a lump would offset the activity in the evening and he would be good to go. I left things alone reminding him to test before he went to bed.  His meter had shown that he was staying up a lot later than normal and was testing before he went to sleep so he should have had a good gauge of his night reading before he pulled up the sheets.

I went to bed, resetting my internal alarm clock to a little later than normal.  It didn't work. I woke up at 1.  My son was still up. He had tested and was 6.8(120ish).  Why is it that you always assume that they will drop during the night? I liked 6.8. It was a nice reading but I didn't trust it. He was going to drop. I reset my internal alarm until 3 or 4am and back to sleep I went. On cue, I was awake by 4.  On cue, he was 4.1(74). I gave him a large glass of apple juice and crawled back into my bed for 15 minutes.  A retest revealed....that his blood glucose level had not moved. CRAP and thank goodness I woke up! More juice, more waiting and finally, close to 6am, he was back in range. I drifted back to sleep with plans of changing his basal rates in the morning.

I hate diabetes but once again, I am so grateful that I have those guardian angels that wake me up before we reach extreme lows.

Update after...Hating Five

I was driving in the car with my youngest son. He yawned and I asked if he was tired. 

"Why?"

"Well, I thought you might be tired since I was up all night wondering when you were going to go low.  You hovered between 4 and 5 all night. I wasn't sure what to do and didn't want to send you high so I ended up awake for most of the night. You finally did go low, I gave you a juice and things eventually worked out."

"Next time give me a sandwich."

"What???"

"Next time I'm low.  Don't worry about the juice, I would rather have a sandwich."

Oh my! Teen boys and food! Its not like I haven't fed him a sandwich while he slept before but that was back in the days of injections and NPH. Nowadays its juice, gel or tablets and some sleep. 

After this nightmare night, as I mentioned, I had to decide if I should decrease the basal rate or give it one more shot.  We had a huge dumping of snow that day and my son had been out shoveling for a few hours. When the evening came, I had to decide what to do. I went with the wait and see approach. In hindsight, it wasn't my most brilliant decision but this time he was over 7 (130ish) before going to bed so I thought I had a lot more wiggle room.

Wrong! Two o'clock in the morning saw him dropping again. There was no sandwich.  I found some regular pop and decreased his basal rate.  I also changed the previous rate back down to where it was to begin with. I was not taking any more chances!

Why I hate Five

Its been three Thursdays and we are still doing the "Reading Review Thursdays"! Yesterday was actually a bit of a fluke.  My son had been having high reading overnight for the past three days. I knew that it was time to make a change. I decided that it was easiest to look at the rest of his readings then as well.  As I was writing down dates, I realized that it was Thursday! I was right on schedule. Yeah me!

Yes, I need a life and am a little sleep deprived.  You see, despite being high for three nights (and I mean close to 20 or 360 for my American pals) my son was perfect to on the low side all night long last night. 

After our pump tweaking, we sat at the kitchen table and chatted while he drank a Tim Horton's smoothie.  He was 4.5(81) before he started.  He then ate two Eggo's as well.  I felt that he would soon be running a lot higher and my basal changes came just in time!

Erring on the side of caution however, about 20 minutes after he went to bed I had him test again. He was 4.2 (75)! Crap! I sent him to the kitchen to chug a glass of juice. 

"Should I stay up and retest because I am low?"
"Well, you aren't technically low. You are just in a range that I really don't like you to go to sleep at.  The juice should cover it. You have school tomorrow, get some rest and I will check later."

I checked him a few hours later and he was right around 5 (90).  Was he going to go up or drop? I was not going to get any sleep.  I hate these nights--no clear low but clearly not safe yet either.  I didn't want to add glucose and send him too high but was it safe to leave him? Would he stay around 5? Could I be that lucky? My mind would continue to race like this all night long.

I slept for another hour but I had to get up and check again. He was dropping.  At 4.2(75) I gave him juice, grabbed my book and waited.  By 4am, he was back up to 5.6 (101) and I could sleep for another couple of hours.  By 6am I was up again but he was finally up over my favorite number 6 and had climbed to 8.6(155).  A bit of peace at last!!

Today I have to decide if I keep the basal rates at their new higher level and risk a repeat performance (although with a little knowledge, a temporary basal would be added to the mix if things began to tank) or if I go back to the old settings and assume that the highs were site related. Decisions, decisions. Just another night on the Diabetes Roller coaster.

What if I met an intruder at 3am?

Last night I was reading a murder mystery novel.  The bad guy was lurking outside of a house waiting to break in. It was the middle of the night and he noted that people slept the most sound between 3 and 5 in the morning.

I started to laugh. I wondered if he had made sure that Diabetes did not live in the house first?  I am constantly up and prowling around between those times.  I have, on more than one occasion thought about the what if... You know, the what if someone was in your house and you ran into them as you were going to test. 

The more I thought about it, the funnier it became.  If I ran into someone in the house I would most likely have a heart attack.  I would be freaked right out of my usual middle of the night stupor that sees me stumble into my son's room praying that I don't have to fully wake and think on a nightly basis.  Seeing someone else up in the house would mess with that big time!

I then thought of the intruder who was in my house.  The trauma that they would sustain after finding someone wandering around in a house they assumed to be asleep would definitely be significant.  Worse than that however, would be the fright that they would receive after seeing me stumbling around with my hair standing on end, no make up, and in my fuzzy red housecoat. 

The upside is that the police would most likely easily catch the burglar.  I would have shocked him so much I expect he would faint or go screaming off into the night!

Ah the things we can think of in our sleep deprived states.  

Another Reason to Test at Night

We all know the many reasons that people like myself test their children's blood glucose levels at night.  There is the fear of dead in bed, the desire to "know" what is going on in their bodies, checking basal rates, making sure an infusion site is working, checking on the result of so much activity during the day and many, many more.

This Christmas I discovered yet another reason to test at night...the turkey!

Yes, the turkey.  In this part of the country, a large holiday meal is usually served at noon rather than in the evening.  This means that if you are having a turkey of any size, it needs to be put into the oven long before normal people get out of bed for the day. 

We were having all of our children over to eat.  This bird was going to have to see the oven long before daylight would be arriving.  As I thought about having to crawl out of bed during the wee hours I was less than thrilled but then I remembered that it was okay.  I had to be up anyway! I would kill two birds with one stone, in more ways than one!

With both of my boys home, I knew that they would have been up late so I did not have to be up too early to test. Four in the morning would be fine...and it was! I got up, tested my son and he was perfect.  You know that perfect that makes you wonder if he will drop or be okay? Lucky for me, I had a bird to stuff and get in the oven.  I did just that and then went back to retest him. He was fine.  I could sleep for a few more hours before the Christmas mayhem began.

You have to take the benefits of diabetes where you can. This holiday season that one worked for me!

Are you alive?

I woke up at 1:30am in a panic. I had had one of those dreams that you are being chased and was still a little freaked as I tried to get my bearings. One of my rules is that if I wake up for no reason I need to test my son.  He had probably only gone to bed just before I woke. Did I really need to test him? Well, a rule is a rule and it has served me well all of these years....

Off to his room I went. As I fumbled around with the meter he woke and stared at me.  "What are you doing?"

"Testing you."

"I just did that."

"How long ago?"

"Around 12:30 or so"

"Well I am doing it again. Its your fault for waking me up. I had a nightmare. We were being chased so now I am awake to test you."

I could see him silently thinking that I was nuts but whatever worked for me. He rolled over and the meter said that he was fine.

Two hours later I woke again. I got up and headed to his room.  He had been in that absolutely perfect range that makes me nervous so I wanted to see where he was then.

I fumbled with meters and made a mess of things. My son again woke up.

"What are you doing? You just tested me five minutes ago!"

"Actually it was two hours ago and I was just checking to make sure that you were alive."

"Oh. Was I low?"

After the words left my mouth and I heard his response, I wanted to cry. It was an innocent phrase that I would say to anyone.  I  simply meant that I wanted to check to see that he was okay.  In his reality, the statement was to be taken literally.  He was matter of fact in asking about his readings. I was so sad to think that this is our lives...fear of lows and the reality of death every time his eyes are closed.

Once again wishing for a cure to take away fears that should not be.

One out of two is a start!

Saturday night I woke up to test my son. He was a little high so I made a correction and went back to bed.  A few hours later I woke up and he was still high.  Again, he wasn't "really" high but his bg levels had not dropped as I would have expected after the correction. I made another correction and waited for my son to get up.

When he woke, I told him that I thought he should change his site. He had been high despite a correction. He said that he disagreed.  "I am high because there was a blockage and I fixed it."

"What do you mean there was a blockage? When? You fixed it how?"

"Last night, at four in the morning. There was a blockage in the tubing but I fixed it."

"Last night, at FOUR in the morning YOU woke up and fixed a problem with your pump?"

"Yeah, I heard the alarm and woke up and fixed it."

"YOU heard the alarm? YOU woke up??" 

"Yeah, I woke up. I got it fixed. No problem."

Yes,  as you can tell I was completely stunned. He would sleep through a nuclear holocust! He woke up to an alarm on his pump without it electrocuting him? Was my son growing up? Was he becoming responsible? Could he really wake up from an alarm all on his own?

Short answer? No.  The next night, we seemed to have had the same problem. He was high. I corrected. Later that morning I corrected again. This time the blockage alarm happened while I was there. I woke him up and made him change his site.  He was happily sleeping through the alarms. 

Oh well, baby steps. He has at least woke up once for an alarm.  That in itself borders on a Christmas miracle!

No this is not my son but he was just too cute not to add!

Sleepless with Diabetes

Diabetes has lived in my house for more than 11 years and 8 months.  During that time (and for a number of years before), I have never slept through the night. I wake up at least once but more often multiple times through the night each and everyone of those nights. whether my son is at home or not.
Each time that I wake up I run through a gamut of emotions... Holy crap! What's wrong? Do I need to test? Is there something going on that I am missing? Should I get up? What time is it? I must need to test!
As well as... do you have any idea what time it is? You went to sleep less than an hour ago! Are you insane? Get some sleep! He just tested before he went to bed and that was only 20 minutes ago.  Roll over.  Sleep for another hour or two maximum and then test him.  At that point it will be okay.  He is alright. Close your eyes and shut down your mind. Enjoy the break!
Are you serious? What if he is low and I missed it? What if????
Go to sleep.
At that point, I will usually sleep for another hour or so and then am woke up by much of the same dialogue and mounting anxiety.  This time it is more of a "get your butt out of bed.  You wanted to be woken up, you were, now deal with it!". 
I crawl out of my warm bed because I know that I will stress myself if I stay there any longer. I stumble into my son's room, wonder where the light is and then pause as I watch his bed.  Just as I did when my boys were sleeping in their cribs, I watch.  I hold my breath until I see his chest rise or hear him snore. If he rolls over as I walk in the door, my heart is set at ease...until I test him.
No matter what the result is though, I do have some peace.  My son is alive.  He is okay.  Diabetes did not win.  I am doing my job. We will make it through another night...I think.

For some reason, the past few nights when I have woke for the fifth time in four hours, I have ached for the too many other parents who were doing the same thing.  I have been grateful for the parents who do not have this experience.  I have longed for the day when I don't have to wake and worry...whether my son is with me or not.  I longed for the day when it is safe for him to sleep...as well as me.

Thankful for Nightmares!

Last night I went to bed and, for a change, fell asleep right away. It was wonderful! My son was running a bit on the higher end of okay and sleep was my friend...or so I thought!

After a few hours of peaceful slumber, I began to dream. The dream was strange and twisted.  I finally awoke after a few minutes (that seemed like hours) of terror, violence and mayhem.  I hadn't watched anything scarier than part of Gene Simmons' Family Jewels, and I hadn't had anything to eat. I had no idea why I was awake but awake I was and still shaking! 

It was only 1:30am but I decided to get up, shake off the heebie jeebies and test my son.  I stumbled to his room first, found his meter and got an error.  Grr!! I was now out of test strips.  Next meter! Grabbed another one and waited for his reading. It was 3.3 (60).  Where did that come from? I began searching his room for glucose. He had tablets but only green apple. I had been reprimanded recently for improper use of the coveted green apple tablets. I was told that I should not be wasting these awesome tablets at night when he would not remember them.

With that in mind, I headed to the kitchen to grab some of the more acceptable night time tablets.  I fed him in his sleep and waited.  I was still shaking from the dream. I was dying to crawl back into my bed, cuddle in and make the horrible feeling go away.  I was also extremely grateful. 

Again, I had no idea why I had this dream.  It started out nice enough and ended up being horrific, but I was so glad that it happened. Normally I would not wake up until 2:30 or 3am.  I didn't dare think about that could have happened if I had waited. 

That was not the first time  that I had been woken by a dream, a strange noise or the call of bodily functions.  It was not the first time that an interruption to my sleep had caught an unexpected low.  I am not the only person that this happens to but I can guarantee that every one of us parents of children with diabetes who have been woke by a nightmare or a rollerskating Indian say a heartfelt prayer of thanks when all is said and done!

The lancet is thrown back

As you may recall, my son was going to have to do his own night testing this past weekend. I had to have day surgery on Friday and was worried about how well I could handle testing him. My son was less than impressed with the new arrangement but agreed.

Friday night came and I was literally up every hour.  He stayed up until 1:00am. I tested around 2:30am (because I was up) and found him low.  Thankfully the anesthetic wasn't impairing me too badly so I stayed up, read, and waited for him to come back up.  I eventually checked his alarm clock and noticed that he hadn't set it to wake up at three either way! He had felt that the 1am test would cover his night testing duty.  Wrong! I woke him up and told him that he was on the 7am test because I needed to get some sleep.  He reluctantly agreed.

Saturday night arrived and I again reminded my son to test. I was terribly sore and tired. I could really use the sleep. He looked at me with a pained expression and said "How much more of this do I have to do?"

I tried not to laugh. I reminded him that he hadn't tested Friday night because I had and I would make sure to do it on Sunday night so he had a decent sleep before school. I could visibly see the relief on his face.

Saturday night, he tested himself before he went to sleep. I woke up at about 2:45am and tested him. He was a little bit low.  Not seriously low, but not where I would feel comfortable. I gave him some glucose gel and went back to sleep.  He should have been up in 15 minutes to test.  Thankfully he was. I tested him again when I woke at 6 and all was fine.

Sunday night he went to bed with a look of joy in his eyes.  Mom was back on duty! He could sleep. There would no longer be the issue of setting an alarm.  He was safe for a few more months at least!

You want me to do WHAT?

I have some personal issues to attend to this weekend so I told my son that I will need his help.  He will have to do his own night testing on Friday and possibly Saturday nights. He looked at me like I was insane.

"You want me to do what????"

I told him that because of things going on over the weekend, I was not sure that I would be able to test him Friday night and possibly even on Saturday. It would really help me out if he would set his alarm and take over the testing for those nights.

I continued to get the "deer in the headlights" look. I reminded him that when he goes to his father's he does his own testing...and he lives.  I reminded him that I NEVER ask him to do his own testing. For almost 12 years I have gotten up throughout the night to check on him.  I was just asking for a small bit of help in a special situation. He begrudgingly agreed.

I wondered what will happen when he is older. My son does not wake for lows. He only wakes to highs that have reached a point of ketones or dramatically increased urine output.  In other words, he sleeps through 99% of his out of range readings overnight.

In speaking to a health care professional recently, he suggested that my son should already be doing his own night testing. I thought he was insane. My son is only 14. He needs his sleep. I have had broken rest for more years than my son has been alive. Its just part of my life now.

I know that not everyone does night time testing. I do. I always have. Its part of our diabetes care. One day my son will make his own choice about testing but until he is of age, Mom will make that decision.  This means that I will test him at night. I will ask him to test when life will not allow me to do it and before he leaves my home (in another three or more years), I will work to get him testing on his own at night.  Until then, well we will muddle through.  

Bang!

School is back in full swing and Diabetes continues to annoy.  The other night, as I was getting ready to head to bed, I thought back over the past few months.  June was a low month. I could do nothing to get any control or a break from treating and dealing with lows.  July was in range. I received some respite and a chance to breathe for a minute.  August was high. There was no controlling the beast. No matter what we did, Diabetes messed with us through failed sites and just being Diabetes. 

Obviously I was not thinking well that night because I figured that based on this pattern I should see good readings in September and then lows in October.  Where was the logic there? I seemed to have been a bit delusional in my hopes of enjoying a Diabetes reprieve.  Reality was that night, my son had his first stubborn low...well since June! Can we say that I was sooooo not prepared?

I was exhausted. I was a mess. I woke up at 3 and was up for an hour trying to get him into a "mom can now sleep" range.  The next morning was school so there was no extra rest.  We also had appointments to deal with so I really was going to get no break.

The result? Bang! I was a wreck.  I managed to string words together. I managed emails to the schools that my children attend to address issues that have already arisen.  I refused to get too involved in any of these problems and prayed no one replied to me for a day. I was feeling testy and defensive. I didn't want to mess with anything.  By 6pm I could gladly have gone to bed.  I stayed up.  We watched TV and went for our evening walk. I was dying.

It was finally bedtime. I had changed my son's rates and prayed for a better night. He was high. I love this Diabetes roller coaster...NOT!

FIVE seconds will do it

As my son ages, I am desperately hoping that he will wake up to treat his highs and especially his lows. Extreme highs are no problem--he gets up to use the washroom or vomit without any difficulty.  At that point, I am usually also awake though and asking him if he tested.  He normally hasn't but has the look of "Mom, I know I am high and I have other things on my mind right now besides exactly how high I really am."

Lows are another story. I am impressed by him occasionally smiling back at me when I go to test him and taking the lancing device away from me to do it himself. More often than not however, he is sound asleep and nothing wakes him low or no low.

Last night we had the following conversation about night testing...

Son:  Did you hear the thunder last night? It woke me up!
Me: GREAT! So did you test when it woke you up? There could have been a reason that you were awake so its a great time to test.
Son, looking at me like I had three heads:  No. I was only awake for a few seconds and then went right back to sleep.
Me: It only takes FIVE seconds to test! You really should test when you wake up. Its a good habit to get into.
Son: Yeah, well that's what I would usually do but some how I forgot last night. It must have been the thunder that messed me up.

Of course the last line was said as he quickly moved on to another room, praying that I would not follow.

Oh the fun of them growing up! Independence brings so many worries and diabetes just adds to the pile.