Everyone always asks you "what is your favorite number?" For whatever reason, mine has always been six. Today I realized how much I truly love that number.
Last night I tested my son at 2:30am. I had changed his basal rate was I was expecting him to be either in range or high. I was figuring on the high because we only seem to have readings fall into one category or the other--high or low. I was happy to see that he was 6mmol (100) and headed back to bed with a smile on my face.
This morning I began to think about numbers. A high (anything over 12 in my world) causes a groan--hormones are raging or we miscalculated a bolus and I am a bad pancreas. A higher high--something over 16 (290) causes a slightly larger reaction--CRAP! What is wrong? Did we forget a bolus? Is the site in? Is the insulin bad? Is there air in the tubing? Will this correction work or should I inject? Crap!
There is also the dreaded non-number. You know, when the meter simply says "HI" and you know that its not being friendly and wanting to strike up a conversation. That is the reading that instantly gets the "Oh SH!#" response followed by the injection, ketone meter, jug of water, new site, new insulin and a lot more cursing wondering where I went wrong. I am now a colossal failure as a pancreas and have to get serious FAST.
On the other side of the coin, we have the number 5. I hate a five at night (90 for my American friends). A five is a number that is close to six but far enough away that it could easily turn into a four...or less. A five keeps me awake at night. I wonder which way it will go. Will it make it up to my beloved six or will it tank to an unwanted two?
Fours are much more simplistic. Add a small amount of sugar. Its too close to call so I assume we are heading to a low. Add a tablet or a bit of chocolate milk and rest assured that a crisis has been averted. Well don't rest too soundly because I have been wrong before and he could still tank but its a start.
Threes are a two tiered panic. The first three I see at night, I respond with "crap"! I have to be a bit awake and somehow get glucose into my child. The second three (or worse) means I am wide awake and cursing the arrival of diabetes into our lives. I then know that this will be a long night and I will be tortured by its memory long after he has climbed back up to my special number--six.
A two or one? Well they instantly put me in five star, full fledged, try not to panic, but What The...??? freak-out mode. These numbers have me clambering for glucose and praying I don't need the glucagon. These numbers have me watching the clock praying for the next reading to be so much better.
Yes, six is a wonderful number. Its peaceful. It means I have been a good pancreas. It has a serene sense to it. Even a 6 in an A1c is fabulous. I love six...don't you?