Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Diabetes has left the building...but will I survive?

The other night I got up and for a change I didn't first lay in my bed wishing that I didn't have to get up.  This night I woke up, pulled myself out of bed and felt almost sad that this would be my last night test for a few days.

My son has gone to his father's home for a few days over Christmas.  On the plus side for me (besides not having to get up and test) is that his brother will be home with me for a few days while he is gone. The downside is that I worry.  I am a mom.  I am sure its in the job description.  I am a mom of a child with diabetes--I worry a little more than normal.

Yesterday as he packed, all of his diabetes supplies were in his suitcase and carry on. He only had two pairs of underwear and one pair of socks BUT he had all of his diabetes supplies! I was impressed that he had his priorities straight.  I packed his log sheets and reminded him that he has a doctor's appointment the day after he comes home so his sheets had better be in tip-top shape. 

I guess I did not hide my fears of him going well. My fiance said that I was a wreck.  My son told me to relax and think about it as if he was just going to a sleep-over...and then got in a car accident! Well, you see a sleep-over would mean he would be home the next day but if he was in a car accident, he would be in the hospital a bit and delayed. Funny but that did not make me feel any better!

I worry that he will fall into old habits and testing will be something that is only done when he feels low.  I worry that he won't test at night.  I am nervous about him not bolusing. Yes, I know he has to be allowed to go and do his own thing but when he leaves my nagging...I mean my gentle reminders, he tends to pretend that diabetes doesn't exist any more.  That scares me.

His readings were perfect before he left.  Now you know that scares me as well.  You may be thinking that I am nuts but he was perfect here with testing, accurate bolusing and Mom knowing activity levels and bedtimes.  He is now out of my sight and beyond.  He will be up until all hours visiting.  He will be off in the country enjoying the fresh air.  His activity level will be different.  His carb counting will be nerves!! Again, I am reminded by the stable force in my life that I will be in constant contact with my child.  I will be calling and texting. I will be asking for readings and making changes if needed.  He is only gone for six days.  He is only gone for six days...yes I am trying to calm myself.

He will be fine. He will amaze me.  He will be on his own, remember what he has been taught and will impress me completely.  I hope so.  I need to focus on the little bit of time I have with my oldest son and try to enjoy the ability to roll back over at 3am when I wake up but don't have to test for a few days.

1 comment:

  1. Oh Barb! I cannot even begin to imagine. I hope it goes well and I really hope you will break the cycle of waking up at 3am by day two or three of his absence. What a bummer to not get to enjoy a full night of sleep when the opportunity presents itself.