Wordless Wednesday

Day 3

Let's Talk About Me!

Its April 1^st already and time to once again join in with the WEGO Health blog challenge!  I enjoy doing this. Its a great time to connect with new blogs that you may not otherwise come across.  The WEGO people also provide interesting prompts that require me to look at life from a slightly different perspective. Its great!

Day one asks us to either write about why we got involved with the Health Activists Writer’s Month Challenge or talk about how we started on this path, so I decided to talk about me!  Actually, its because I can’t remember how long I have been doing the challenge or what made me start...except probably the fact that it was an interesting challenge.

But back to me!! Why do I write about my life with a child with diabetes online?  For the therapy.  Quite simply, that is in part why it began.  Writing, journaling, and such has always been my way of getting out thoughts, feelings and emotions.  If I wrote it out, I could work through it. 

I began to write about my challenges.  I wrote about our successes.  I chronicled my fight with the federal government to get the Disability Tax Credit.  I wrote about trying to choose an insulin pump for the first time.  Eventually I also began to talk about our day to day life.  The challenges of a preteen, and now the challenges faced in living with a teen.  We deal with hormones and independence. 

I write to share my fears.  I write to share our joys.  I write to educate and to create awareness.  My son was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes in March of 2000.  I was an educated young mother of two boys.  I knew about teething.  I had been through the flu, colds and potty training but I knew nothing of diabetes until it barged into our lives and almost killed my son.  In writing about Type 1 diabetes today, I hope to educate other parents, grandparents and the general public on what Type 1 diabetes is and the reality of how it impacts families and their lives.   

Over the years, writing has also allowed me to connect with other parents and those living with diabetes.  It gives those who have not yet reached some of the stages we have to see how we have handled things and what they can expect.  It also helps those who are also living with a teen with type 1 know that they are not alone in their struggles and the strange victories that only those who live here can truly appreciate. 

There you have it...why I write about type 1 diabetes. I am looking forward to the many thought provoking challenges presented over the next 30 days.  I am equally looking forward to learning new things about other health writers.  Let the fun begin!!  

Diabetes Word Cloud

Its the last day of the Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge and I made it!!! I actually posted, on time, all 30 posts!!! Tomorrow I am supposed to do a recap but I am afraid that will have to be late.  Tomorrow I have a big surprise for readers that is way more important than a recap of my ramblings.

For the last day, the task was to create a word cloud for our health condition.  So here it is...I cheated a little. I didn't create a cloud with words, I put words on a cloud and because I can see a few rainbows from this horrible disease, well I added a rainbow too!

A Teen's view on site changes

We are winding down and coming to one of the last posts for the Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge.  Today's is exceptionally tricky...Tell a story in only six sentences!! Wow! I like to ramble.  This will be a challenge that will require a LOT of editing I am sure but here it goes....

You were high. Did you do a site change?
I was going to but I got it down with corrections.
You needed a site change.
You would do a site change.  Personally, I don't do a change until I absolutely have to and since I came down, I really didn't have to!

"Geesh!"

Our First Terrifying Low

Today's challenge is to write about a first. There are so many firsts in diabetes...the first time you inject your child.  The first time you test their blood.  The first time you make a dosing adjustment.  The first time you let them go to a friend's house without you.  The first time they have ketones. The first time they go low...

We were not allowed to leave the hospital until my son's blood glucose level went low at least once.  It was a safe place for this to happen. He was two. He had no way of telling us how he felt. I was terrified as to how either of us would react when he went home.  Eventually we did have to go home however and trying to regain some sort of control of our lives was not easy.

I tested.  I injected. I watched. I lived by the clock.  I counted each exchange.  Food was restricted and fights with a toddler were many. Life was not good but it got worse...

The first time that I remember my son going low at home definitely puts me in the "World's Worst Mom" category.  We had not been home from the hospital for long. It was early spring.  The snow had finally gone.  The boys and I were enjoying the chance to be outside.  They were playing and I was working on my yard. 

As I worked, my youngest son began to get fussy.  He was demanding. He wanted to go inside.  He was whining and basically being an annoying two year old who desperately needed to go for a nap.  I told him to give me just a few minutes. I would be done soon and we could go inside.

I never paid him any more attention. I continued doing what I was doing. Diabetes never entered my mind. It lived on the fringes.  Memories of the hospital were still fresh.  Living by the clock was our new way of life but "other" fears were not yet as strongly entrenched.

I tended to my garden, moving rocks and dirt.  My son was quiet so I assumed that he had gone back to playing with his trucks and amusing himself until I was done.  I finally turned around and looked for him.  My heart stopped.

My son was laying lifeless on the ground.  What had happened? What had I done? Instantly, I had him in my arms and was screaming at my older son, "Open the door for me now!!!"

I raced through the house and put my son on my bed. I ran to the washroom to get a clean face cloth to wash his hands and had my older son get me the glucometer. I shook as I tested his blood. He was low. How low? I don't remember. I just know that I brought juice to his lips and prayed he would drink.  He did!

Within a minute he was awake and wondering what my problem was.  He wanted to go and play.  I bribed him with watching his favorite show on TV instead.  I knew he had to retested. His blood glucose level still had to go up some more. 

I watched him as he sat, content and oblivious to the chaos that had just ensued.  I continued to shake.  What ifs ran through my mind.  I would never ignore him like that again. I couldn't. Diabetes was not interested in my timetable, its demands were to be met NOW! 

I can't say that that was the last time he went low but I can say that it was the last time I found him asleep in the dirt.  There were many other "firsts" in our lives.  Some were bitter sweet and some remain terrifying but such is life with diabetes.

Diabetes highs and lows

5 Challenges & 5 Small VictoriesMake a list of the 5 most difficult parts of your health focus. Make another top 5 list for the little, good things (small victories) that keep you going.

 We are winding down the month and coming to the last few posts for the Health Activist Writer's Month Challenge but the challenges are still just as thought provoking.

The five most difficult parts of living with diabetes (in no particular order)

1.  Sleeping.  Every night when I go to bed, I wake and wonder, "Should I test? Is he low? Is he high? Is it okay for me to sleep? Is he alive? Did I sleep through something that I shouldn't? Will he ever wake on his own when he is low?"  This happens if he is in the next room or across the province.

2.  Letting go.  My oldest son slowly (and sometimes more abruptly) pushed me away as he spread his own wings and learned to sink or swim on his own.  For my son with diabetes, spreading his wings means more than just issues of handling drugs, drinking and other peer pressures.  It means being able to handle his own health care. Its testing, avoiding lows, dealing with highs, bolusing food and being prepared for emergency site changes and low insulin cartridges.

3.  Trading a diaper bag for a diabetes bag.  I look at women with small purses and wonder how in the world they do it? Each time I have to fly without my son, my purse becomes a few pounds lighter as I begin to remove things like spare insulin, syringes, lancing devices, meters, glucagon, glucose gel, glucose tabs, alcohol wipes and more. For small trips, we must remember all of those things plus a few more...just in case!

4.  Living life on a roller coaster.  Never knowing if he will be high or low or living through the days when he is both.  The uncertainty of diabetes can mess with vacations, outings and just your daily routine.

5.  Knowing it won't get better. The absolute worst part for me has been knowing that no matter how hard I work, no matter what I teach my son, he will not get better for all of this care. He will avoid complications. He will live a normal life but there will be no respite.  He will always need to test. He will always need to count carbs.  He will always need to bolus.  He will always need to be on guard.  He will always need to look at how his body reacts to his actions. It never ends. There is no break.

The five things that keep me going?

1. Amazing friends.  The support network that diabetes has brought into our lives is second to none. I do not know what I would do without my amazing friends. We don't see each other every day.  We don't talk every week but when you are in need---because of diabetes or just life, they are there for you 100%.  They have become family in their own right.

2.  Technology.  The changes that have happened over the years have made our lives better.  We get excited when we see new meters on the market to try out.  We enjoy seeing what technology the latest pump will make use of.  These little victories in our diabetes care brighten a few moments in our lives.

3.  Emails from strangers.  When I feel like I have done nothing and I am helping no one, I get an email or a phone call out of nowhere thanking me for all I have done.  They (you) lift my spirits and empower me to keep going.

4.  Victories.  Getting the federal government to change the Disability Tax Credit to make it more fair.  Advocating more and more provincial governments to cover insulin pump therapy.  Teaching schools and personnel what diabetes really is and how to help our children.

5.  Bringing people together.  Going to events, especially ones that I have help organized or am a part of, and seeing people with diabetes come together.  During these times we talk to old friends, we work together to help new ones. I walk a way with a sense of purpose and pride. I know I can go on to fight another day.

Things to Remember!

Today's challenge is things that we forget. Hopefully my post-it notes are things that we never forget...

Chocolate CURES diabetes!

Do you remember the chocolate bar that my son brought home before Easter holidays? The one that he was not allowed to eat?  Today we found out that this chocolate bar is not really a bar with almonds. Its a bar with special chunks that cure diabetes!

Seriously!! These small little particles that look like nuts are actually small encapsulated cells.  The coating allows them to be dissolved in the stomach and  release insulin.  Instead of being destroyed, these little guys are absorbed into the blood stream! The larger "nut" chunks go to work in the pancreas creating long term benefits.

These larger chunks are actually specially designed beta cells. They move through the body and head back to the defunct pancreas.  These amazing chunks then work with the pancreas and regenerate themselves.  After approximately a week of chocolate bars for breakfast, lunch and supper, the person with diabetes will notice substantial changes in their body and their insulin needs.

First, they will not require any insulin to cover the bars because the small particles are supplying them with just the right amount of basal and bolus insulin.  Second, they will soon not require any insulin at all because their body will quickly begin to produce its own insulin based on the regenerating beta cells.

After years of people saying "sweets cause diabetes" and parents of children with type 1 rolling their eyes and explaining how wrong they are, we are finally vindicated.  We can now say...Chocolate bars? Yes I feed them to my child with diabetes multiple times per day.  Didn't you know? They CURE diabetes!

Oh the joy! No more needles, no more pumps, no more night time tests.  Now its just chocolate and then CURED! Its time for the "we used to live with diabetes" get togethers.  Ah what a long road but it feels so wonderful to finally have success...a CURE for diabetes!

No I have not completely lost my marbles.  While a do remain a few short of a complete set, the WEGO writers challenge for today was create a miracle cure.  Sadly, there is no miracle cure. I wish a cure was a simple and giving someone a chocolate bar three times per day. In the meantime we will keep working towards good health and funding research that may one day lead us to that goal.

Five people I would have to dinner...

Another day, another Wego Health Activist Writer's Challenge! Today's question is to come up with five people that you would love to have dinner with. Once again I have been challenged to really think.  I am very blessed to have been able to have dinner, or lunch, or breakfast with many amazing people in the diabetes world so who would I want to sit down with now?

The first person I would want to join me would be Frederick Banting.  I would be very curious to know how he felt to have changed the lives of so many people.  I would be curious to know what he thought of the fact that research had not progressed as quickly as he had anticipated and ask him what he would do differently today. 

Person number two would be the person behind the Cozmo insulin pump.  I am sure that there was more than more person involved in the creation of this device but for this meal, they would all be rolled into one being.  I would thank them for the most amazing insulin pump ever. I would beg them to take their knowledge and bring it to one of the remaining insulin pump manufacturers to reproduce. They would be told that they have spoiled us for any other pump and we desperately want to maintain their technology in our diabetes life.

My third guest would be Betty Fox.  I know, she had nothing to do with diabetes but she was one of the most amazing parents of the last 100 years.  Her strength in the face of adversity is something I admire.  She raised a son who faced death and when asked "why you?", he is said to have responded "why not me?" She took his legacy and maintained something that is still very much alive today. I would love to know how she did it. How did she brave through her son's illness and death?  How did she rise up to go on with such poise and dedication right up until her own death? How did she create this amazing family that continues to keep giving (her husband has picked up where she and their son left off).

I would also invite Martin Luther King Jr.  I would be interested in learning from a person who could empower people and create such amazing change. How he would deal with modern day governments and create equity for people living with diabetes would be of interest to me.

The final person I would want at the table with me is my friend Kim.  Kim is an amazing mother with a son close to the age of my youngest son who also lives with diabetes. I am blessed to have a lot of amazing mom friends in the diabetes community but I think I would need Kim at this dinner for one reason--she is so thoughtful and full of all of the right questions.  She is a wonderful woman that I know would come up with all of the questions that I missed.  She would be able to speak on behalf of other parents where I missed. Between us, we would get answers and thoughts on the tough questions.

As difficult of a task as I thought this was at the beginning, I can truly imagine sitting at a table with this amazing group. I hope dinner began early however, because I can well imagine conversations stretching late into the evening but the wealth of knowledge that I would take away from it would be immeasurable!

Lost is Lost

Today's Health Activist Writer's Challenge is to choose a book, open it to a random page, find a phrase and use that phrase to stimulate writing.  I have no shortage of books around. As I have said before, I love reading. I love the written word. I love books! As I glanced around my office I saw James Patterson's Kill Alex Cross, Harmonic Wealth by James Arthur Ray and so many more.  What to choose?

I decided on the little book that was hiding between Alex Cross and The Book of Better. I love Mitch Albom books so this seemed to be a great choice. For One More Day is the most recent book of his that I have read.  I opened to page 83 which lead me to 84 and the following sentence that struck a chord...

"...lost is lost, and I knew that look because I had worn it myself. I hated her for having it. I hated her for being weak as I was." 

There is so much in that small bit of prose. I can see myself as the author--  being upset when my son has failed in his diabetes care.  In those times when I have allowed him to go on his own with little outside influence from Mom and he fails? I then feel lost and upset. I first get mad at him for not stepping up to the plate and then I quickly hate myself more.  How could I expect so much from someone so young?

I feel lost trying to find that balance.  Diabetes has robbed so much from my son's childhood and as a parent it is my job to keep its toll to a minimum.  I have said before, it just does not seem right that a child should know what carbohydrates are before he can recite his ABC's.  Lancing his finger and drawing blood should not be a milestone marked with a feeling of pride...but in our life it was. 

This quote also makes me wonder what my son must think at times. Mom is the strong one.  Mom makes the choices when it comes to his care.  Mom is the one who knows more than some of the experts we see. Mom is the one that people call to know "stuff".  What must he think when Mom loses it? When he is scared, Mom is not supposed to be lost and scared. Mom is supposed to have it together.

I remember once when Mom really didn't have it together. It seemed that my carefully constructed world was falling down around me like a deck of cards.  I could no longer hide the pain from anyone. I literally sat in the middle of my kitchen floor and cried.  My oldest son sat with me.  My heart broke that he had to see me like that.  My younger son hid.  He was very much like the author.  I could see that he hated seeing me so weak. I understood and hated myself even more.  

We are human however.  Diabetes makes us superheros but also reminds us that we are mere mortals.  Its a challenge to make sure that the moments  of feeling lost and overwhelmed are reserved for the confines of a shower when no one else can see. Its a challenge that I work at more and more with each passing year. Its important to be that willow tree, bending with the wind and not the lost leaf blowing around lost and scared.  Its a challenge but one that I hope I meet more often than I fail.    

The biggest challenge that diabetes has brought to my life...

Today's Health Activist Writers Challenge truly challenged me. What was the hardest lesson that diabetes has taught me?  I thought and I thought. I struggled. I ignored the question and did other things. Diabetes is so life consuming. What is the hardest part? Its all hard isn't it?

What is harder than not knowing if your child will live or die? What is more disturbing than never having a full night of sleep again? What is worse than living in fear that the devise attached to your child could kill him? What is worse than wondering if you will wake to find your child dead in his bed?

There are probably a lot of things.  My son can lead a relatively normal life with diabetes. It is not a death sentence but a sentence to live life to the fullest valuing every second.  So is that the big lesson for me? The real value of life? No, actually I don't think so.

For me, its a lesson that I am still working on. Its called patience.  That is the challenge of my life. Its further reinforced by all of those other challenges. Its waiting, watching, not always knowing what tomorrow will hold. Not being able to change what I want to change as quickly as I want and having to learn to live with what is happening right now.

At 3am, I have to be patient, wait, and hope that the juice I have given my son will really bring up his blood glucose level to a safe range. When it doesn't, I have to have faith that with more sugar, he will be okay because I am there to watch over him. 

As a toddler, I had to patiently learn how to handle a child who did not want to eat despite having insulin in his system that required food.  I had to be patient with him as I made him watch tv until his blood glucose was in range when he desperately wanted to be outside playing with his friends instead. 

When my son went to school, I had to patiently teach the staff in his school to watch out for signs of highs and lows.  I had to help children around him to understand why he may seem "funny" at times and that his pump was not a toy.  I had to be patient and have faith when I allowed him to go on school trips and outings without me.

As my son ages, I am still challenged (and not always succeeding).  Now we are at an age when he wants and needs independence.  I have to be patient as he stumbles with his care. Stumbling now is still safe. Mom is here to clean him up, fix the highs, change the sites and get him back on track.  I have to have patience and know that one day he will learn. One day he will take over his disease and one day he will amaze me with how much he really does know.

For now, patience and I still remain at odds.  I get frustrated. I get scared. I want him to be okay now. If I can't have a cure, I don't want him to have to worry about the high cost of keeping himself healthy. I want changes in health care now. I want schools to understand that you cannot see diabetes but the impact of highs and lows are real and truly are debilitating. 

I keep wanting, and diabetes keeps making me wait.  I have learned a bit of patience. I do know how far my son has come.  I can see him taking care of himself...sometimes.  I know that we have made inroads with governments. I have learned that change is slow and my frustrations only make my life (and those around me) miserable. Slow and steady will see me through. One day I will be a patient person, in the meantime...well I will keep trying!

Diabetes finds Pintrest

Pinboard...create a pintrest board for your health issue.
Those who know me, know that this is by far the easiest challenge for me thus far. I am addicted to Pintrest. I love the images, the recipes, the ideas. I even have a board already created for this! Here are a couple of samples...

  I just love this image! I have no idea how to credit it original poster but it is just so cute and fits with our lives.


Again, if you live with diabetes you have to appreciate the humour in this one too! Thank you Diabetes Mine for posting it!


My third "pin" is of course, Rufus the Bear with Diabetes.  I love Rufus and Ruby! I love what they have offered children with diabetes.  I have had the pleasure of speaking with Carol Cramer, the creator of these bears, and she is a most amazing woman. 

There will be more pins but I will keep them to the Pintrest site...maybe!

I have a style?

What is your writing style?

Is it a bad sign that I read today's writer's challenge and thought..."writing style? What the heck are they talking about?"  I guess that about answers the question doesn't it?

I have no style! I just am. I am not a professional writer. I don't even play one in real life. I wish I was. I love books. I love the written word but alas, I am just a mom who plays a doctor, nurse, dietitian, cook, and a few other things in real life.

Do words just flow from your mind to your fingertips?
Actually that pretty much says it all! I began this blog as my own therapy.  A friend actually read it and wanted to be able to comment and share so I had to move it to the blogspot platform. It was a place to vent and let other parents living with diabetes know that they were not alone--insanity loves company!

Do you plan your posts?
Yes...and no. I have to have something to ramble about. I come up with amazing posts at 3am but usually have forgotten them by 7.  I write down some ideas to touch on one day. I will sometimes comment on things that I am doing or other posts that I have read that have struck a chord with me.

Title first or last?
Last, dead last. My titles are horrible! I love people who have amazing titles. They catch me. They intrigue me. They make me laugh. I struggle to come up with anything witty or that at least makes sense (see the title of this post for example!). I need someone to be my "titler"--the person to read my ramblings and come up with amazing titles!

Where do you write best?
In my mind! In my head, my posts are all brilliant! They are thought provoking. They are witty. I am a Pulitzer prize winner...in my mind.  Sadly, I just sit and my computer, type, leave, come back, scrap, delete, edit, re-post, leave it, come back and eventually press "publish".  Its that basic.

An Insulin pump for a paperweight!

"MOM!!!!! Something is wrong! My pump fell out last night. I feel really weird."

"You are probably just high. Test and get a new site. I will be there in a second."

My son tested his blood glucose level and yelled at me again, "Mom this is really, REALLY weird!! My site fell out and, looking at the puddle of insulin on my sheets, it must have happened sometime late last night, but my reading is in range!"

There is no way that my son could be in range with no insulin. I was sure that something must be wrong.  I retested him on not one, not two, but four different meters. He was fine. Actually he is better than fine. His reading was a nice, pretty 5.0 (90).  He must have made a mistake about the site failure.  My son has had Type 1 diabetes since he was 2.  He cannot live without an external source of insulin.  His pump is the only way he gets insulin into his body.

"I am telling you Mom, I feel strange. I feel better than I can ever remember.  I must be cured!"

"And pigs fly! You cannot possibly be cured just like that. Your body does not just regenerate an organ.  There has to be a logical explanation.  Go and get ready for your day."

My son was adamant. He was cured. He did not need insulin.  He ate his breakfast but refused to bolus. I waited for him to be sick.

Two hours later, I was reminding him to test. He looked perfect--not his usual shade of grey that comes with being high. He showed me his results...5.4 (95ish)! He was perfect again. His grin filled his face.

"I think it will be A&W for lunch with a side trip to Dairy Queen for a banana split hold the insulin! Added to that...I don't think I will bother to test today!!"  With that my son made one last stop before heading out the front door. He turned to his insulin pump that had been left sitting on the counter and said "You've been a good friend for a lot of years, but I am sorry to tell you that you will now be used as a paperweight.  You did a great job of keeping me alive but I am afraid that your services are no longer required!"

With that he was off to enjoy his first day without infusion sets, insulin pumps, glucometers or even glucose tablets.  He was free!

I sat back and remained stunned. Was this possible? Had he somehow been cured? I went online to check with my many friends who also live with diabetes in their houses. The stories were the same! Somehow Diabetes had left the building! It had left the planet! We were living in a diabetes free world!

I felt light-headed.  There would be no more night time checks? I would not have to worry about his readings or him bolusing while he was out? I didn't have to worry about the cost of pump supplies or insulin? He was free? It was over?

I cried. I screamed. I rejoiced with family and friends! This truly was the most amazing day ever if only the annoying door bell would stop ringing. The constant buzzing was messing with my celebrations. Why wouldn't it stop? Was it just happy too?

Finally I realized that the "door bell" was my alarm clock. It was time to get up.  My best day ever was simply a dream to experience another day. One day maybe we will all be so lucky. In the meantime, its time to see if my son tested for that cereal he just had for breakfast.

 

10 Things I couldn't live without

Today's challenge was to come up with 10 things that I couldn't live without when living with diabetes.
1.  Glucometers...where would I be without data???

2.  Cozmo Insulin Pump...I love my son's pump. My son loves his pump. I hate to think about the day when we have to move to a new brand of pump. We love our Cozmo.  We will live with a new company's pump but oh how we love our Cozmo!

3.  Ketone Meter...its weird but hey I like being able to see real time ketone levels.

4.  Insulin...how could I not have put this first?? Without insulin my son would be dead or emancipated at the very least. Insulin allows him to live a full and healthy life!!

5.  My online friends...The Internet connected me to the most amazing people that I have grown to call my diabetes family.  Many of these people have known me and my children for over 11 years now. They have been with us through the good times and the bad. They have shared milestones that only families with diabetes could understand.

6.  My "therapy" group...a group of women who came together with me to talk, to laugh, to drink, to complain, to advocate, and most importantly to just be ourselves.  We were united by our children with diabetes and stayed together because of the incredible friendship that we created.

7.  My internal alarm clock....I go to bed and tell myself that I need to wake up at 1, 3 or whenever.  For some reason, my body gets me moving at the required hour.  I know that I wake because of 18+ years of restless nights but the fact that I wake when I chose continues to amaze me.  On the rare time that I oversleep, I know that my body has simply said, "you need sleep more than you need data. Someone else will watch over him for a bit."  That brings me to #8...

8.  The guardian angels that watch over us at night...It might sound hokey to some but I firmly believe that someone (or more) watch over myself and my son at night.  There have been too many nights that I have woke up at the "wrong" time only to test and find a problem.  Those are the nights that you argue with yourself about getting out of that warm bed but do anyways and say a prayer of thanks afterwards when you catch a scary low.

9.  Diabetes Coverage...I guess we could live without it but the stress that you live under when you have to worry about the cost of each test strip and every infusion site that falls out is incredible.  Having that burden lifted is such a blessing and one that I hope will ultimately be bestowed upon everyone living with diabetes.

10.  CWD Conferences...Its the one time when you are surrounded by others who "get it" completely.  Spending a week with experts who truly know and understand has a value beyond words.  For me, this is also a time to reconnect with my diabetes family.  We talk, eat, enjoy a glass of wine and catch up but its always as if it has only been a few days since we last saw each other instead of a year or more.  I meet new people, make new friends, and put faces with names.  The experience is vital to my limited sanity.

Wow! I did it. 10 things that I could not live without when living with diabetes in no particular order.

Dear 16 year old me...

Dear 16 year old me;

You have your entire life ahead of you--enjoy! You will be nervous at times but relax. It will all work out.  Everything will come just when you need it, never worry.

You will face crisis's and have heart aches but there will always be someone there to help you. You are stronger than you think and when you are sick of people telling you that and you just want to curl up in a ball and be weak for a bit? You fill find that you really are strong and that weakness just doesn't feel right for you.

Dear 16 year old me, your life will take you on adventures that you never dreamed would happen to you.  You will have two amazing boys who will become fine young men.  They will brighten your life and show you things that only children can.  You will laugh with them and you will cry with them.  They will do things that will scare you and one day your youngest son will fight for his very life but you will all make it through. It will open a new chapter in your life but you will work hard.  You will be stronger and a better person for it.

Dear 16 year old me, join the Internet after this crisis with your son! Its a new place that you find using your computer. You will need that connection.  You will find support for you and your children there. You will meet friends who will become family.  Open up to them because they truly will love you and help you along the way.

With their strength and encouragement, you will take on the world.  You might think that you are just one person but you are one person with a voice.  You will use that voice and you will change lives.  There will be tears and you will think that it just doesn't matter. You will not always have the support in your personal life that you wish you had but you have the support of those who truly matter. Listen to them, not to the nay-sayers.

Dear 16 year old me, life will be hard but it could be harder.  You will suffer losses but you will also have victories in places that you never imagined.  Your children will make you cry but they will also make you proud.  You will worry but you will also become stronger and more compassionate. You will doubt yourself.  You will question your value as a person but look back on all that you have accomplished--that is the account that matters not the one that simply shows dollars and cents.

Dear 16 year old me, listen to your heart. Don't let fear stop you. Embrace a challenge. Do what you feel is right.  You will never go wrong. Remember that you are loved and that that love will always guide you and get your through.

Now go out and enjoy your youth! Embrace each day. It brings new lessons and new blessings--sometimes you just have to look a little harder to see them but they are always there.

 

Keep Calm....

Today's challenge? Creat a Keep Calm poster!

Diabetes Haiku

Today's WEGO Health Writers Activists challenge is to write a health haiku.  I have done no poetry of any kind since high school...and that was not yesterday no matter what I tell people! I am sure my attempted haiku is written proof that poetry is not my strength...

Poking, testing, hurts.
Highs and lows, no end in sight.
Diabetes sucks.

Cows equal diabetes?

Go to flickr.com/explore and write about the image that you see.
This is the prompt for today's WEGO Health Writer Activists challenge.

The picture I received is a picture of a painting. A lone man and a herd of cattle.  It took me only seconds to see how it related to my health issue...diabetes.

The cattle are divided into two groups and I instantly had my connection.  Diabetes!! The cattle can be seen as the disease commonly referred to as diabetes.  The large group of cows on the right represent the larger category of Type 2 (Adult onset) diabetes.  The smaller group to the left reflects those living with Type 1 diabetes.  Statistics always say that only 10% of people with diabetes have Type 1.

I was on a roll! The lone man walking between the two groups? Well he is not necessarily a man. He is me! He is a parent of a child with diabetes. It does not matter what "type" of cow his/her child is.  He watches over all of them.  He is concerned with all of them. He wants to protect all of the cows--to watch over them and keep them safe from harm.

A simple farm scene quickly becomes a health scene.  My brain is filled with diabetes and can see it in the most unlikely of pictures but there it is..."Bringing them home" becomes "Guarding the Herd" in my mind's eye with very little effort.  It is almost scary how easily that came to me.  How diabetes fills even the most obscure crevasses of my mind.  

Why do you do it?

Another day in April and another WEGO Health Activists Writers Challenge topic! Today they ask, why do you write about your health? Well actually I don't, unless I am writing about my deteriorating mental health which is in part related to the health of my youngest son. 

Why do I write about the health of my son? For so many reasons! First, because its great therapy for me.  When I have been stressed or frustrated, by writing it down and getting it "out there", I have often been able to get perspective (or have someone give me perspective).  Sometimes it doesn't seem so bad when its spelled out on my computer screen.

Secondly, a friend once said that she liked reading what I was writing.  Silly woman!  Now I write to entertain the other one or two people who actually are interested in what I have to say.

This leads me to reason number three...so others know that they are not alone.  That is actually why my friend encouraged me to continue to write. She goes through similar events with her child with diabetes. My ranting, raving, and general discussions have shown her that she is not alone.  All of us parents of children with diabetes are in this together. We experience many of the same issues and seeing a variety of ways to cope allows us to find the best way to manage our own situation.

That actually brings me to a fourth reason (and here I thought I only had three!).  The fourth reason that I do this is to help those who are not yet at the stage in their diabetes life that we are.  I have learned a lot from those who have gone before.  When my son was a toddler I listened to the stories of those with pre-teens with great interest.  When my son became a pre-teen, I followed the horror stories of teenagers praying that some of their wisdom would help me through. Now that my son is a teen, and my older son is getting ready to move forward into his post-high school life, I read the tales of parents of young adults hoping to gain inspiration and guidance.  Hopefully, my stories will help prepare others for their next stage in life with diabetes.

The final reason to write about my son's life with diabetes is simple...some of his stories and points of view are priceless to me.  They amaze me.  They inspire me.  They make me laugh.  Blogging about it allows me to share his unique perspective with the fifty or so other people who follow my blog and allows me to preserve the memories in a unique form for both of us.

Back to the original questions...Why do I write about my son's health? To preserve my own sanity and hopefully to help out a few others along the way. Its as simple as that!