I am definitely heading for one of those weeks! Friday Liam was sick...terribly sick and it was very scary as I said. By Saturday he was fine but on Sunday evening he threw up again. As the vomiting ended we ran into a new and exciting problem...chronic lows! Every night he has been going down into the 2s (36s) and nothing will bring him up. I have turned his pump off more in the past two days than I ever have in his life. I have reduced basal rates. I have used temporary basal rates. My nerves are going quickly with my lack of sleep. I am up until 2 or 3 each morning to get him in range to sleep and then up two or three more times because I know that he will drop. Today Liam was to go to a birthday party. He had to wait until he was in range to leave. He asked when this was going to be sorted? I told him that I was doing everything that I could but I felt like I was failing him.
Tired and failing your child is not a good time for someone to launch a personal attack. The details don't matter and I understand where the attack came from. I am a big person and can handle the shots aimed at me. I am confident in my position and saw no reason to defend myself or even acknowledge the attack but one part did bother me. The attack went from being about me...which as I said, I can understand, to being about my son. This person does not have a child with a chronic illness. Thankfully their children are very healthy. This person does live with someone with a chronic illness but dealing with an adult is very different from living with a child. Going into something voluntarily is very different from almost losing your child to the disease and spending the rest of your life working to make his life the most normal it can be.
As I said, I am tired and sensitive but this person's attack I found particularly uncalled for and vicious. It was said that I am "disabling" my child. I am not sure how I am doing this. I do all I can to ensure that diabetes does not stop him. I provide him with all of the tools at my disposal to keep him healthy. With his health care provider, we are working to make him independent and intelligent about his disease. As much as he may frustrate me at times, I do believe, considering his young age, that we are succeeding. He will be healthy and he will be able to live an independent and full life. There will be nothing "disabled" about him.
This person went on to say that I should not be fighting or helping people with diabetes. I guess I should not have worked with others to see insulin pumps for our children. I assume I am to stop trying to get coverage for adults who wish to use insulin pumps as well. It will save this person a large out of pocket expense but it is something that I should be giving up on. I found it most ironic that this person, who said I should "give up fighting the good fight" and get a real job, benefits from the many years of hard work myself and others put in to get the Disability Tax Credit for people living with Type 1 diabetes. If I hadn't been fighting then how would they be benefiting from the tax savings today?
I know, I have to walk away from this. I have been attacked before and I will be attacked again. I have not responded directly to this person. They will not stop me from doing what I must. I will continue to be involved with diabetes walks. I will continue to assist with scholarships. I will continue to take emails and phone calls at all hours from people needing help or support with their diabetes or diabetes related issues. I will continue to publish a bigger and better website. I will continue to make a difference. I will do this for my son and for so many others.