Wednesday, October 21, 2009

I want a normal life!

I am tired of this. I am beat out and want off of this roller coaster. I didn't volunteer for it did I? Well maybe I said that I could handle anything as long as my son lived. I guess I can. I have managed this far but sometimes I wonder. Last night was definitely one of those nights.

My son kindly gave me a touch of his cold. I have been fighting sniffles and a sore throat. Add to that the fact that I have not been able to sleep for a few nights and last night I was exhausted. Bed was all I wanted to see. I drank some cold medicine. I crawled into bed with my book. I tossed and turned and soon midnight approached. I went in, tested Liam--17.8(320), corrected and crawled back into bed. Soon I was dozing into a lovely sleep for an entire four hours. At 4am I woke up and realized that I should get up and test Liam again. I pulled my weary body out of bed and headed back to his room. It didn't take me long to wake up when I saw 2.9(52) on his meter. I grabbed the juice and decided I was going to get a lot of reading done this morning! Sure enough it took an hour to see a rise to a point that I could go back to sleep.

Why couldn't we be a normal family and simply sleep through the night without worry? Because normal is simply a setting on the dryer and we are far from normal. We try though. This morning, after counting carbs and changing insulin cartridges we dealt with some "normal" things. There was the hair that would not stay in place and required Mom's magic touch to fix it all just so. There was the garbage that needed to go out. And there was the goodbyes that seemed especially poignant this morning. My sweet child was still alive, still healthy and still able to wish me safe travels before heading out the door.

Who needs a normal life? This one has some serious benefits.

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