Let me preface this post by saying that I am very proud of me. I have not had a complete meltdown. I have not screamed, threatened or inflicted bodily harm to anyone or thing. I have not cried. I have not bounced my head off of the nearest wall. I have quietly resigned myself to the fact that the next A1c will in no way look as good as the last one and worked hard on continuing to breathe.
The Easter holidays brings great things--in that I get to have all of my guys together under one roof. It also brings a few days of me not having to test because my sons head back to spend time with their father. That should be a nice vacation for me but as I have said time and time again, its a period of quiet stress. I know that diabetes care is not the same when Mom is not around. I know that reminder text messages are often ignored. I know that testing is something to be done when bored and not when required.
Having all of this knowledge and not wanting to ruin my son's time away is the reason why I waited a few days after his safe return before I turned on his meter. I could feel my blood pressure rise as I looked at few tests, some really high readings, and then some good ones to soothe me slightly. I calmly asked what happened to some of the readings. There were readings at 4am but they were because he was still up and then there were no readings for eight to twelve hours while he slept. I won't even touch on the "where was the adult who should be overseeing the care?". I simply asked what was going on?
"I know I tested more than that. I tested a lot Mom really! Those readings must have been on the other meter. The one at Dad's"
"Would that be the green meter?"
"Yeah, that one!"
"The one that you told me yesterday was dead, had no battery and no strips? Is that the meter that you were using when you didn't test on this meter?"
There was no comment. He swore that there had to be more testing. I just left the room with the reminder that that was not the way to maintain a great A1c.
This was last week and I have not brought it up since. I have been checking his meter from school. I have been pleased to see him carry his new AccuChek Mobile when we were rushing off to check on the cabin. He is making some progress but there is such a long way to go (like the difference between "carrying the meter" and actually using it).
Last night, after I checked him and got a slightly high reading, I corrected and decided to check his pump. I hadn't seen him get insulin from the fridge to fill his pump in a bit. I also don't remember a site change happening this week. The last site change I remembered was when he came back from his father's--after leaving the site in for a week, after the previous one week old site named "Timmy". I was sure I would see that he had missed a site change...again.
I scrolled through the alarm history and sure enough...site change reminder: May 5th. Crap! When will this kid learn???!!!??? Breathe, go to bed. Deal with him in the morning. I went to bed with visions of taking over his care and doing all of his sites in his butt where he has refused to ever inject or insert. I wanted to do something to kick him into remembering. I really wanted that pump with the electrodes that worked like a cattle prod whenever its alarms went off.
I had asked people to build one for years. My son completely ignores all alarms on his pump. I am not sure why I bother to set them. For my own peace of mind I guess because he ignores them. Its now time to wake him up and remind him about the site change. He will tell me he will do it after breakfast. I will threaten to insert it in his tush. He will tell me that he will put it in his leg right after he is done eating. He probably will get it done because his cartridge is getting low. Then again, he has been known to change a cartridge and leave a site. He will tell me that he hasn't changed this site (insert the latest name here) because this site is working so well. I will remind him that he was high last night. He will come up with an excuse like the fact we had pizza for supper. I will remind him that it was homemade and he doesn't have issues with my pizza. He will mutter and shuffle off to his room.
I am hyperventilating reading this - haha!!! I cannot even imagine, but am no fool...I know I will be facing the same issues with Joe. Thank you for sharing so openly and candidly. And...I would love a freakin' "TAZER" or some "STUN-LIKE" option on their damn pumps. xoxo
ReplyDeleteHappy Mother's Day to you!!!!
Sigh...Gail isn't even a teen yet- she's only 9 years old and we're already facing all of this. Thankfully WE still change her infusion set, although I miss the Cozmo with the alarm telling us when to change the site. Apparently Gail has decided that she doesn't have diabetes at school, we've talked to the teacher who is supposed to remind her to test (she IS only 9 after all) and that is hit and miss.
ReplyDeletethanks for reminding us we're not alone- and for for-warning us of what is still to come (lol)