Today was the day anyone living with diabetes seems to dread...the A1c report card. The last A1c was Horrible (yes that is horrible with a capital H). We went up over a full percentage point. I wanted to cry. There was logic behind the horrific rise. We were moving. My son was spending a lot of time away from me and his care was pitiful at best. It still did not look good and I just could not handle any lecture.
Today's A1c did not have that same excuses. My child has spent almost all of his time with me. We did have our earlier fall rebellion with no testing and minimal bolusing that was bound to have an impact on today's test. Lately though he has been testing. He has been bolusing and our readings? Well they are the readings that now make me understand Joe Soloweijczyk's suggestion to run over your glucometer. Despite doing all things right, my son's reading cannot get out of high double digits (we are talking 250+ for my American friends). I have upped basal rates. I have adjusted carb to insulin rates. We have prebolused. We have changed sites, insulin and even batteries. Nothing is working.
I walked into our appointment today full of trepidation. These people do not know us well. They know me by reputation which is not as bad as it sounds but we have only seen this team once before. What we they think? They will know that I am now officially the worst diabetes mom on the planet. I spent the night wondering if we would soon have to look at adding something like Metformin to his regimen. I was grasping at straws!
This afternoon we pulled up our big people pants and headed into the clinic. We went to check in and she said "Your appointment was last week and we have you as a no show. Your next appointment is in April." What??? I told her we had received three different appointment dates and times. The last one was via email just before the new year. It told me to come in on the 11th. I found the email and told her who sent it. She said that his doctor was in and she would see what she could do. She went back and they would fit us in. No one had a clue how this had happened.
They weighed and measured my child. He had grown 3cm (over an inch) and gained 13 pounds since the summer! I could tell. Besides the insulin resistance, he was starting to be able to look me in the eye. His doctor noticed the change in him as well.
We saw the nurse. We have known each other for years. She reminded me that puberty was hell and things would only get worse. The A1c's of under 7 would be something we could fantasize about but would not see for at least a few years. I was dying! She said the last A1c was not that bad considering and I told her that this one would not be better. She looked at his readings and agreed. He has been high, high and high. We haven't seen a low in weeks. He is getting used to running to high and I am in panic mode. I told her that I had upped his basals and she said to keep doing what I was doing. If I needed some help to give her a call.
We saw the doctor and she concurred. She suggested that I not be afraid to warm it to the insulin. The little jumps that I have been making are just frustrating me. Make bigger leaps (probably during the day when I am more comfortable) and try to find our way out of this. She agreed that we didn't want this to go on for long and was open to the possibility of adding in other things if need be but we are not at that stage yet.
All in all, the highs are not the result of a non-compliant kid. Despite my grumblings, he has been doing a lot better lately and I made sure that I said it a lot in front of his team members both for his benefit and theirs. He is just growing and going through puberty. He eats non-stop but that's called being a teen. I have lived through that with one son and now we go through it with another.
I left the house today filled with anxiety. What would they say? I am a bad mom for allowing this to happen. My finance reminded me that he was growing and I was doing my best. You have to truly love that kind of realistic support. I came home calm, happy that we were done in less than two hours, and feeling ready to tackle that horrible four letter word--TEEN also known as the insulin resistant years of hell.