Monday, July 5, 2010

And the unpacking continues

The unpacking continues but at least I have now found many of the missing items. The insulin was of course in that box that I kept walking by but was sure it was too big to hold anything like insulin and the other perishables I was missing.  The jewelry that had been carefully put in a safe spot so I would be able to easily fill any orders that came in as I was unpacking was also found in the safe spot after days of searching boxes and remaking many items.

Thank you Bernard for reminding me how stressful a move can be! I have not made a move of this distance in a very long time...over sixteen years to be exact.  I have not made such a huge move with children.  I have never made such a huge move with a child with a chronic illness before. 

My son is currently spending some time with his father so I have time to unpack his stuff and try to get things in place for him when he comes home.  I had ideally planned to have his room just perfect when he arrived. It would have the skidoo theme that he talked about. The walls would have a few decals on them.  The curtains would show the Arctic Cat logo.  His bed would be black and green.  As the days go by and I am still struggling to merge two homes, I will now be happy if he comes home and can safely navigate his way to his bed!

Today I finally tackled emptying some of his boxes and putting away a few things.  His idea of packing and mine were very different so unpacking his stuff...well its a challenge but I am winning--I hope!  We had decided that all diabetes supplies would now be kept in his room. Over the years they have been kept in the kitchen, in my room, in the hall, and now I had decided to fill up one of the drawers in his dresser. Another great theory that is not exactly working in practice!

I brought up the cart that had held his diabetes supplies up from the basement (its the current holding place for all of our stuff both to stay and to be donated).  As I was wheeling the cart down the hall to his room, I was struck by how similar I was to a hospital orderly wheeling a cart down the hall on any patient ward. That saddened me.  I opened up the drawer that I had planned to fill and found that infusion sets and cartridges were already taking up all of the available space.  There was only one choice. I had to put the cart in his closet.  We were still going to have this physical reminder of diabetes lurking in his closet.  I wanted to cry.  I know its silly. I know its just me.  I should be used to all of this by now. I should be thankful.  I know of far too many families with multiple members who have diabetes.  Their supply closets must be huge and I am sure it doesn't reduce them to tears.

Adjusting, settling, and finding places for everything is difficult. Many things need to be let go of to make room for new things.  Sadly we could not let go of diabetes. I wanted it to take a vacation but it is still here with us. Its reminder hides in the closet but its still here.

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